We open to the remaining 8 bachelorettes sitting ever so casually around the lounge, lamenting the departure of Awesome Jacinda. You & me both ladies. You & me both.
No time for sadness though, as Osher strolls in with the coveted golden envelope, which he assures the girls does not contain any funny business like last episode. Ebru seems doubtful, Emily...well, Emily seems more interested in her tea, which I can absolutely respect (she types, as she picks up her teacup...)
All the girls seem pretty adamant that it will be Emily who will be "treasuring time together" with Sam...and they're spot on. After she fails to react as effusively as some of the other girls would have expected, they begin to question whether she's actually that excited about her time with Sam. I can't really judge her here though, because if it were me, I'd probably have this very expression on my face whilst thinking "Oh God. I hope we're not skydiving. Wait, did the invite say treasure? That probably won't mean skydiving, right? What am I going to wear? Is that food in my teeth? Holy crap this is a good cup of tea."
As Emily sails off to meet her possible prince, she tells us "I'm here to have a great experience today. I've been single now for about six months or so, I'm not overly happy about it. I think that I can be a bit of a princess sometimes and I think it's more that I'm high maintenance within myself." Nothing wrong with having high standards girls! It might not be for every guy, sure, but to hell with them! There are some men that enjoy, in the words of Chandler Bing, "maintaining you."
Back at the Manor, Heather & Nina wonder how Emily's date will go. After they guess that it will involve a treasure hunt, Nina snarks "I don't know how she'd go actually having to do the shovelling. I think she'd be more than happy to supervise." Well. Me-ow. Nina then infoms us that the side of Emily they see in the house is one that is very princess-like and particular, to which I say...don't worry Neens, she's not exactly hiding it in front of the cameras.
Back to the beach, and the date does indeed involve a treasure hunt that requires Emily to jump on a paddle board to find a clue. Here I am, hoping for some elaborate Survivor-esque adventure, with diving and climbing...nope, just paddle over to that buoy and yank on the rope to pull up the clue, then look in some rocks, then back to the beach. Oh look, there's a GIANT X on the sand. You're done! After digging up a chest, Emily discovers her treasure is a $10,000 tennis bracelet...not bad for a day's work! Oops, I mean, what a touching gesture!
"Did you get a nice clear shot of the sponsor? Yes? So I can stop holding this box in such a contrived manner? Sweet."
We cut back to Bach Manor to see Snez reveal a golden envelope inviting the ladies on a group date where, for the first time this season, all seven remaining girls will be going on the group date, meaning poor Emily will be rattling around the manse on her lonesome for the day. According to the invite they will be "living the simple life," which raises some red flags amongst some of the ladies. Apparently, Jasmin doesn't like "animals touching her, or dirt, or smell, or not being able to wear heels" so she's obviously going to L-O-V-E this date if it happens to be anywhere rural. Jasmin confirms this, saying "I don't really like to go and milk cows, or round up sheep, or pick up poo..." Can I just say: Jasmin, sweetie, you won't be picking up poo. It's a farm, not a litter box.
Returning to the beach, and Sam & Em are getting down to some real talk. Emily confesses that she always thought she'd be married by 28 with a baby by 30, saying "I didn't comprehend that that couldn't happen." Both Sam and Emily seem to be the lone singles amongst their groups of married friends with babies, and as they talk and laugh, all I can think is that it's really nice to see some real sense of vulnerability from Emily.
P.S. Hey Emily: You should do the messy hair thing more often. It totally works.
Group date time! The girls jump in the Nissans, with their INBUILT GPS and their GIANT SUNROOFS and their BLATANT PRODUCT PLACEMENT, to head off to the Australiana Pioneer Village in Wilberforce. Once there, they meet up with Sam and Osher, who informs them that, as Sam's a bit of a country boy at heart, they'll be experiencing simpler pleasures, enjoying some fun & games - including farm chores! - and ending with a barn dance in the shearing shed. How cute.
Their first exciting activity is apple bobbing. I'm surprised that the girls don't seem to have heard of this before? Hmm. Anyway, first up is Sarah vs Jasmin. Jas lets it be known early on that she has no interest in dunking her face in a bucket of water, and Sarah takes the win. Next sees Heather easily beat Rachel. Bec wins over Snezana, who struggles to actually get her head in the bucket on account of her ample chest. Nina takes on Ebru and comes up against the same struggle as Snez...her way around it though is to just tip the bucket over herself and grab an apple on its way out. Ebru isn't too impressed at what appears to be a deliberate wet t-shirt manuever, but you can't argue with results!
"VICTORY IS MINE"
And so the final is Heather vs Bec. It's truly a blink & you'll miss it match-up though, as Heather is in the water for all of 2 seconds before she emerges with the apple. Heather then declares "I'm the King of Bobbing..."
"...sounds dirty."
As a reward for her exemplary bobbing skills (teehee, it does sound dirty) Sam pulls her away for some alone time. Adorably, when Heather says she had no idea she was competing for time with him, he tells her "maybe that wasn't the prize but when you won I just decided to make it the prize." Oh he's smooth. #TEAMSAMTHER. ...yeah, that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it? Hmm. That's gonna need some work.
After Heather & Sam return with their homemade lemonade, he informs the girls that their next super-fun activity will be...sheep shearing! As you can imagine, Jasmin is THRILLED.
And oh, what a miserable time Jasmin has having to touch the FILTHY DISGUSTING SHEEP. I'm wondering if she's had some sort of traumatic farm incident as a child, because sheep really aren't that awful. Having attended an agricultural school and thus spent a considerable amount of time around farm animals, I can vouch for them being perfectly adorable (if a bit dim) creatures! They're not particularly dirty; the greasy feeling that Jasmin would be mistaking for dirt is just lanolin. The way I look at it: if you're happy to spend money on the clothes and the cosmetics made from their fleece...well, touching the live thing ain't all that different. But that's just me, I get that some people are a bit funny around large animals. Each to their own, different strokes, et cetera.
After the sheep shearing is finished, Sam and the girls retreat to the shed for a barn dance. Everybody's in high spirits, riiiight up until Sam pulls Heather outside for some fresh air. Ruh-roh. TO HELL WITH YOU GUYS. #TEAMSAMTHER. This move takes Heather by surprise as well, having accepted that she probably wouldn't get any more one on one time after their lemonade session earlier. They're really cute, guys. Heather has a habit of thanking Sam for talking to her and he finally calls her on it, saying "You don't have to say that, it's crazy to say that. Because when you say that it sounds like talking to you is a chore. It's not a chore, it's an absolute pleasure." After she shares that she's spent her whole life feeling like she's always in the way, Sam responds "You're a pretty amazing girl and I've only scratched the surface, you shouldn't be saying or thinking things like that...I don't say it to be amazing, I say it because it's what I think." It's obviously a deeply ingrained habit though, since seconds later she thanks him again.
"WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?!"
Sam then takes Sarah aside for a catchup. She admits that "I wasn't sure if it was the wine or it was Sam that I got really flustered over, but I think it was just a combination of them both." Yeah...I definitely think the wine has something to do with it, dear Sarah. I can't exactly put my finger on what it is that gives it away though...the giggles, the repetitive compliments ("you're OK" "YOU'RE OK!!") the rosy flush across your cheeks & decolletage...Or just a combination of them all, perhaps?
After he returns from his time with Sarah, Sam decides to pull Snezana away for a chat. Jasmin is LOVING IT:
I can only imagine the shit that would be hitting the proverbial fan if she got word of THIS little bit of mischief...
BUT WHAT OF THE GIRL CODE?!?
Rose ceremony time! That's right, no cocktail party tonight, we get straight into it. You know the drill by now: Heather gets a rose, and Emily makes a face:
In the end, we're left with Nina and Jasmin. In another completely predictable ending, Sam picks Nina, solidifying the message that, if you want to win the heart of Sammy Boy here, you best leave your tiaras at the door. No princesses allowed.
As she departs, Jasmin assures us that "I haven't given up on love" ...which is good to know, seeing as she is TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD. Hurry up girl, you're running out of time! You better not give up!!
NEXT TIME: "The competition revs up" as the girls take to the go-kart track, the groundwork is laid for the EMILY V NINA rivalry, and Nina spills the beans on the group date pash. NICE ONE NINA.
The Bachelor Australia airs Wednesday and Thursday nights from 7:30pm on Channel Ten. Missed an episode? Catch up here:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
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