"This has been a fascinating ride so far. I'm halfway through what truly is a wonderful adventure. I guess the trick now is to try and have the foresight, in the short dates that I have, to see which girls are not just great in bursts, but a woman I can spend the rest of my life with." And you know he's serious, just look how pensive he is on this random farm! Seriously, they're in Hunters Hill, where would this farm be?!
It's a new morning at Bach Manor and the girls are chilling in the kitchen, hopeful for a date. I can only imagine how mindnumbing it becomes in that house. No wonder some of these girls (allegedly) spend all of their time in the gym. Conveniently, as always, Osher then enters with the golden envelope, inviting Rachel, Heather, Bec, Emily, and Nina on a group date where "the race is on." After Nina's name is read out, Emily comments "the more I've gotten to know Nina, she's very fake. So on the group date, I'll just stick with the girls I'm close with." And with that, we are introduced to the new target in Emily's crosshairs: Heather is out, Nina is totes in.
And so, off on their date they go! As the Nissan PARKS ITSELF! (can we have our money now?) Emily remarks that "I don't know much about Nina. I know that she isn't someone I would be friends with." Which is a very interesting judgement to make about someone you proclaim to not know very well, dear Emily...
The girls arrive at Ultimate Karting Sydney where they find Osher & Sam zipping around the track. No helmet hair here though!
Fresh to death.
After Osher announes the girls will be competing in the "inaugural Bachelor Grand Prix," Nina can barely contain her excitement, explaining how she used to race Japanese imports and drift cars (I have to say, this was a bit of a revelation for me, I did not see that coming from a wedding planner. Never judge a book by its cover, Jessica!) This then sets up Emily's next dig: "I just don't see anything with Nina and Sam. I just don't think he would be really attracted to her. She's a bit...crass."
Crass Nina and the rest of the girls then get kitted up for the big race:
I just wish this shot had been in slo-mo...
And after Emily makes one last snipe, hoping Nina "chokes," they're off! Let this be a testament to the competitive spirit: no matter how much of a princess Emily may be, her desire to WIN - and particularly to BEAT THAT CRASS BITCH NINA - has overtaken every other instinct. I have to say, if this is her first time go-karting, she's a natural at picking the racing lines. You may have found your calling, Em!
Meanwhile, Heather was just being her usual awesome self, burning rubber and whatnot.
#TeamHeather
At the end of the race, Emily easily takes the win, pulling into the pit lane after the chequered flag falls. Nina fails to see this though, and having assumed that she had overtaken Emily early on, celebrates a little prematurely...
...Awkward.
This is then followed by the awesome realisation once Osher announces that Emily has won by over 7 seconds...
"...Shit."
Emily then gets to claim her prize, which is some alone time with Sam. After he asks her if she had fun, she answers that "I'm just so happy I beat Nina!" To which Sam responds "I'm still trying to work out how I feel about Emily. I'm not sure whether Emily's here to find love, or if it's just about winning." OOOOH. Emily probably doesn't help her case much when she tells Sam that she thinks Nina would be off "licking her wounds" and that she doesn't really connect with her. Yeahhh, considering Sam has said that he really likes Nina, I don't know if that went over too well...
ALARM BELLS ARE SOUNDING IN SAM'S HEAD RIIIIGHT ABOUT NOW.
Back at the manse and the group daters are regaling the other girls with the tale of Nina's premature celebrations. And then in walks Nina. Awkies. But it's all glossed over quickly enough as in her hot little hands she carries a golden envelope, containing a single date invitation for Snezana to live "la dolce vita," which Emily & Nina announce means "the beautiful life!" I can just picture my best friend, who is Italian, throwing things at the TV at this point, because it's actually 'the sweet life'; beautiful is 'bellissimo.' And so completes today's rudimentary Italian lesson! You're welcome, universe.
Sam (who does know the meaning of la dolce vita, well done sir) and Snez then sail across the harbour in a vintage speedboat and arrive at Cockatoo Island (at least I'm 99% sure it's Cockatoo...) for their own private little Italy, complete with personalised pizzas, gratuitous shots of the cheese sponsor, and flour fights.
Oh, just stop it with the cuteness already.
Back at Back Manor, the girls are sitting around discussing whether they think Snez will return with a rose. After Bec says how obvious it is that Sam is attracted to Snez, Nina adds "like with the pash at the group date!" Which catches everybody off guard, seeing as the only people who Snezana had told about the kiss were Nina & Bec. WAY TO GO NEENS. Emily then weighs in, saying "Nina is as two-faced as they come...Nina can say some things that can come across as quite catty and nasty. I just don't trust Nina. I don't trust her at all." God, I would LOVE to know what's gone down between these two when the cameras haven't been rolling. You know there's a good story there.
Meanwhile, blissfully unaware that her beans have been spilled, Snezana continues to enjoy her little slice of Italy with Sam. Having discovered that Snez is apparently a huge Star Wars fan, Sam has commissioned a "Death Star" inspired dessert from Gelato Messina (Sydneysiders, if you haven't yet sampled their wares, I highly recommend you hightail it there, quick smart. I once hiked up the steep streets of Darlinghurst in six inch stilettos for a late night gelato. TOTALLY WORTH IT HASHTAG NO REGRETS.) Snezana is so into her dessert that when Sam pulls out a rose from under the lounge, she stops to shovel the last spoonful in her mouth before accepting. That's my kind of woman.
Cocktail hour! And boy, is there plenty of Emily material to go 'round! After Nina frets about Snezana's reaction when she owns up to spilling about the pash, Emily tells us "Nina is not genuine, she says what people want to hear." Soon after, Snez returns from her date and Bec & Em are sitting in the next room, frustrated that other girls are faking excitement, with Em saying "if there's one personality trait that I hate the most, it's people that are two-faced. And that's what I think [Nina] is."
As always, Sam & Heather are adorable and I just want them to hurry up & get together, because if anyone else wins Sam's love,
Including this moment for no other reason than Heather is adorable.
Rose ceremony time! And YAY Heather is called first! ...Look, I'm sure the order means nothing, other than what will play best on TV of course, but it must feel good to be the first girl called.
Ooh, another dig at Nina from our favourite bitchface princess: "I just don't see anything with Nina and Sam. I just don't think he would be really attracted to her. She's a bit rough around the edges." Of course, Nina is next to receive a rose. And oh, if looks could kill...
"This guy, I swear, picking rough-around-the-edges, secret-spilling crass bitches before me, why I oughta..."
In the end, we are left with Bec and Nanna Rachel. Seeing as she's had a total of 5 minutes screentime all season, it's no surprise that Rachel is the unlucky lady leaving us tonight.
"Wait, where did she come from?" - My husband slash most of the viewing public.
NEXT TIME: Oh, we have SO much to look forward to. Another girl (all signs point to Bec) gets the heave-ho prior to the rose ceremony! New girls crash the party! More bitchface than you can poke a stick at! And - the rumours were true - an epic tantrum from Emily that sees her walk out.
The Bachelor Australia airs Wednesday & Thursday nights from 7:30pm on Channel Ten. Missed an episode? Catch up here:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
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