No messing around tonight, as we open to Osher entering Bach Manor with the first blue envelope of the episode. The lucky man who will be feeling "first date butterflies" with Sam on tonight's single date is Suave Alex. When the boys discuss what "butterflies" could possibly be referring to, Will offers this: "Things that give me butterflies are extreme rollercoasters...Jumping off things...A bad curry?"
Meanwhile, Sasha, who earlier confessed that his growing feelings for Sam will make it more & more difficult to see her date the other boys, has another idea in mind: "I hope Alex's date is a trip to a preschool where they paint one side of the paper and they make butterflies...and then that's it and he just goes straight back home in a separate car. *to producers* What do you reckon about that? There's a romantic date." Oh, Sash.
SINGLE DATE TIME!
Alex arrives at Airborne Aviation in Camden to find "thrill seeker" Sam waiting alongside two shiny red Tiger Moths. And no, they're not just set dressing, they will be taking to the skies. Whilst this sounds like an absolute blast, I personally would prefer an experience that you are able to share side by side, like a jetboat ride or something. Something that gives you a reason to hold their hand or hide your face in their shoulder.
Here's a tricky one for you: Try and guess who is enjoying this experience more...
Sam?
...or Alex?
Once they are safely back on terra firma, Sam & Alex take a drive to the Australian Botanic Gardens in Mount Annan. FUN FACT: This is the largest botanic garden in the country. SECOND FUN FACT: When I was a kid, I spent every Easter Sunday at the Garden with my giant extended family, where we would claim an entire gazebo for ourselves, laze around on the grass, tear around on our bikes, and play games of football and cricket that were far more aggressive than necessary when children are involved, because we are an insanely competitive bunch. Oh, and of course, eat copious amounts of chocolate. It is the site of some of my fondest childhood memories.
Sam's idea of first date small talk? "So have you been everywhere? Or anywhere?" EXCELLENT QUESTION FROSTY. Meanwhile, Alex is just being his normal, charming self. I could fall asleep listening to that soothing English lilt.
DATE TIP: Brushing the hair back is an excellent excuse for some innocent physical contact. And ladies, it works on guys, too! Nice one, Alex.
After feeling the butterflies, both figurative and literal...
...Alex receives not just a rose, but a kiss.
Back at the Manor, under some grilling from the rest of the boys, Alex tells of his kiss with Sam...a revelation that leaves Sasha a little shaken. Don't worry Sash, your pash was totes better.
GROUP DATE TIME!
Invited on this weeks group date is Davey, Richie, Sasha, Will, Kayne and Dave. The clue is simply, "Game on." Ooh. Get your game faces on, boys!
The lads arrive at trampoline centre Flip Out! in Castle Hill. These places have been popping up all throughout Sydney over the last few years, but a word of caution: my brother broke a friend's ribs when they collided (they're adults, so don't pity them too much.) Enter at your own risk, is what I'm saying.
Osher informs them that they will be playing a game of 3 on 3 dodgeball...on trampolines. Awesome. The winning team will receive extra time with Sam at a Turkish bath, so the stakes are high. Team captains Davey & Richie then set about doing a schoolyard pick for their teams. Richie seems to have a strategy in mind from the get go, picking Will and Kayne, whereas Davey goes for straight up brawn, picking Sash and Dave.
In the dressing rooms, the boys set about forming a game plan. Take a look at the whiteboard in the Blue changeroom...
Solid.
Despite their cockiness at the start, the Blue team are quickly beaten in the first and second rounds. Rallying in the third, they manage to get at least one win under their belt, before finally falling to Red in the fourth. Poor Sash knew it was all over when Davey was the only man left on the field...
"With Davey the only one left on the court it was do or die, so I basically just went straight back to the changerooms, I knew we were done for."
Much like how the great poets would write odes to war, so does Will pen this masterpiece about the Red victory...
"And I threw that little orange Cheeto
At Davey's stupid head.
And the game was won,
By Red."
And so, to the victors go the spoils, as the Red team and Sam head off for some private time at the Ottoman Turkish Bath in South Granville. Because there's no better way to get to know someone than slathering their near-naked body in mud, amirite? As Richie put it: "It was a romantic and intimate moment...that I shared with another two blokes." As all great romantic moments are, Richie! Will has another take on the matter: "Alex has had the kiss...but we have had the exfoliation."
Speaking of Will, he then gets some private treatment time from the lovely Sam. As he explains, "I've never been on a date where a woman is asking me deep and personal questions about what I want for the rest of my life while she's exfoliating me with an oven mitt."
Lucky Richie then receives some extra-special hot tub time with Sam, as a reward for being the winning captain. Yes Sam, I'm SO SURE that the reason you chose Richie is because he was team captain. Nothing to do with the fact you find him most attractive. Nope. (And this isn't a bad thing, BTW! Just own it! "Richie, you're a babe. Get in that tub!")
COCKTAIL HOUR
Tonight's cocktail party is really all about the gifts. First up is Michael, who has made a "mix tape" for Sam - a cassette case full of "fun facts" about himself. I guess it's a nice way to get to know someone, but it left me a tad underwhelmed.
Cool story bro.
At the other end of the spectrum, we have Sasha, who has decided to show Sam his artistic side, by creating a gift to show her how much he cares. He presents her with an illustration that reads Sam 4 Sasha, which is pretty cute, right?
The best part though, is when a clearly touched Sam asks "How do you know all this stuff?" and Sash responds "Because I listen when you talk." EVERYONE GO HOME, SASHA WINS.
TIME FOR THE ROSES
As the rose ceremony begins, Osher informs us that not one, but two gentlemen will be leaving us tonight. DUN DUN DUNNN.
The final four is pretty predictable - Will, Tony, Davey and Kieran - and if you paid attention to the season preview at the end of the premiere episode, you already know who is leaving: Will and Kieran. Yes, Channel Ten, there is very little suspense when you show Davey & Tony on a date together - a date which has not yet occurred - then put them in the bottom 4. Anyway, whilst I don't have much feeling towards Kieran (he is to The Bachelorette what Rachael was to The Bachelor last season) I find it very sweet how earnestly he seems to hope that Sam finds true love. And of course, I'm sad to see Will go. I love a good oddball.
NEXT TIME: Two men go in, one comes out. Yes, it's time for HUNGER GAMES: DATING EDITION. Also, DAD TEST.
The Bachelorette Australia airs Wednesday & Thursday nights from 7:30pm on Channel Ten. Missed an episode? Catch up here:
Episode 1
Episode 2 - Dave's single date, "leap of faith" group date and HURRICANE HANSEL
Episode 3 - Sasha's single date, puppy photoshoot group date and THE SASH PASH
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