It's the morning after Hurricane Hansel hit Bach Manor and the boys are discussing the importance of the Bro Code. Sasha announces that "Bro Code was a word for, in my opinion, mutual respect. So, "bro code," we don't even need that anymore, we just need to keep that mutual respect." In other words, we're not going to be subjected to Davey parroting BRO CODE at the cocktail parties anymore. Huzzah! All hail Sash!
Osher then enters with the lucky blue envelope, which invites one lucky man to "start off on the right foot." The date goes to Sasha, who I assume is hoping to get as close to Sam as he currently is to Davey...
SINGLE DATE TIME!
Sash meets Sam at what I initially assumed was a neighbouring Hunters Hill mansion, but is in fact Villa Biscaya, a landmark Spanish Mission residence in Rose Bay...so he hasn't just strolled next door, which is nice. Anyway, once there she informs him that they will be getting their groove on, learning an Argentine Tango. In case there are any eagle-eyed So You Think You Can Dance Australia fans here, no, your eyes did not deceive you - Tango instructor Will here competed in Season Three.
As they begin their dance lesson, Sasha ditches his shirt and Sam is clearly unmoved by his totally unimpressive physique...
"YOUR UPPER BODY SITUATION MAKES ME SICK."
They begin to learn their moves, an experience which Sash seems to thoroughly enjoy: "There was a lot of touching of the chest...which I loved, to be perfectly honest." Meanwhile, Sam is struggling to form coherent sentences. Ahh, new love.
Their dance lesson done, Sam & Sasha sit down for a drink and a proper conversation...that is, if Sam is able to get the words out. She explains that she chose Sash for this particular date in the hope that forcing them to be so close will help her get past her nerves when around him. It's basically the date version of exposure therapy. Sasha then opens up about his family, in particular the relationship he has with his mother & stepfather, a story that seems to endear him to Sam even further.
Enough talk, it's time to dance! Sam & Sash pull off a respectable tango, and you can feel the chemistry through the screen. Afterwards, Sasha debates whether or not he should go in for a kiss, and there seems to be an opportunity when Sam pins the rose (oh yeah, he gets a rose AS IF THAT WAS IN DOUBT) on his chest, but alas, he doesn't make a move and has to settle for a peck on the cheek. In my opinion, Sam was definitely lingering longer than necessary, hoping he would take the lead. Ahh well, next time, Sash!
"Why are you not kissing me right now?!?"
GROUP DATE TIME!
Back at the Manor, a second blue envelope has arrived, with the cryptic clue "on this date, I want you to take the lead." The lucky gents who will be taking the lead are Kieran, Richie, Michael, Dave, Will, Tony, Kayne and Davey.
The boys roll up to the Sydney Polo Club to meet Osher & Sam, who explains that, as she is such a massive dog lover, the boys will be posing with puppies in a photoshoot to be published in Who magazine to raise awareness for Save Our Strays. Oh, and they'll be shirtless. Because nothing says "adopt a dog!" like man nipples. Richie's keen: "I'm happy, I'm stoked! I'm looking forward to getting naked, woo!"
You know how they say "never work with children or animals?" Yeah, there's a reason for that...
...like when they decide a game of tug o' war is more fun than posing...
...or when they urinate all over the bench you'll be laying on.
Also, who knew Will had this rig hidden underneath his velvet dinner jackets?
Oh, and can we just take a closer look at Tino, who Will named the "cloud with a face..."
This dog is like a living emoji
For those who are interested: Michael was the lucky recipient of one-on-one time with Sam after the shoot. Meh. I am not at all invested in that pairing. WHERE'S SASHA.
COCKTAIL HOUR
As the cocktail party begins, we learn that Kayne has a little something up his sleeve with which he hopes to impress the fair maiden. When he finally gets alone time with Sam, we learn that it's...a rap he's written. I'd be lying if I said my initial response wasn't "oof, this should be good..." but it's sweet and Sam seems to enjoy it. Well done, Kanye. ...I actually misspelt that by accident, then realised the context and thought, "never mind, totally works."
Never mind that though, because SASHA'S BACK! Sam has pulled him away from the group - and far away, as Osher shared on Twitter:
Sash tells Sam that she left him wanting more after their date and it starts to feel very much like two awkward teenagers trying to navigate that first pash, as he moves closer and she knocks back the rest of her wine.
THIS IS HAPPENING.
After nervously blathering for a bit, Sasha finally manages to spit out "I just want to kiss you right now." And like the absolute boss she is, Sam cocks a brow, looks him straight in the eyes and replies "You should." BOOM. And what a kiss it is. I'll let Sam take it from here: "Kissing Sasha for the first time, it was...I can't explain it. It was exactly how it was supposed to feel."
TIME FOR THE ROSES!
Going into this rose ceremony, things aren't looking great for Drew the Puppy, after falling hard & fast for Sam, who earlier in the evening mentioned that she's concerned about how "emotionally invested" he is in her already (read: PUMP THE BRAKES DUDE YOU'RE SCARING ME.) In the end, it's Drew and Tony left vying for the final rose. Despite Drew's declaration that "I have no interest in playing the field. Could I be with her, could I take her home, could I be happy with her? Absolutely, no doubt in my mind" it's the puppy that's sent packing. Sam being the sweetheart that she is, walks him out to to the car...possibly to ensure he wouldn't sneak upstairs and throw himself off the roof, unREAL style (spoiler alert.)
NEXT TIME: Alex & Sam take to the skies in their magnificent flying machines. Also, dodgeball.
The Bachelorette Australia airs Wednesday & Thursday nights from 7:30pm on Channel Ten. Missed an episode? Catch up here:
Episode 1
Episode 2 - Dave's single date, "leap of faith" group date and HURRICANE HANSEL
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