Not In My Name.

NOTE: I wrote the following early Tuesday morning - about an hour before the tragic end to the siege. After it became apparent that there wasn't going to be a peaceful end, and that innocent lives had been lost, I decided to sit on it for a while, unsure whether it would ever be posted. I was irate when I wrote it, and felt that the initial aftermath of the tragedy didn't need any more anger. However, I've given the matter more thought, and these are things that I feel I need to say on behalf of my friends. I hope it can be read in the spirit in which it was intended.
My deepest sympathies go out to Tori and Katrina's loved ones, in particular, Katrina's three little children. May they rest in eternal peace.
Jess x

Days like today bring out the best and worst in everyone. In friends, in strangers. In journalism.

When I first saw the news of the hostage situation this morning in Sydney's Martin Place, I braced myself for a fresh wave of Islamophobia to hit my social media feeds. Every now and then, something in the news will prompt those vile and uneducated comments to surface once more. My personal opinion is that there is a subset of the Australian media who report on these matters in an irresponsible way, that only serves to fan the flames.

Take, for example, the front page of Monday's SPECIAL 2PM EDITION of the Daily Telegraph...

(Yes, let's report it's that DEATH CULT - nothing has been confirmed yet, but oh well!)

 



This make me incredibly angry, and I would like to tell you why...

I have friends - beautiful, wonderful people - who feel the need to lie about their faith, because they are judged for being Muslim. Who lie about their ancestry, because they are judged for being Middle Eastern. Who, on days like today, feel that they have to look over their shoulders when walking down the street in fear of attacks.

They love this country, just as I do. They proudly call themselves Australian. Yet all because of the colour of their skin, or the clothing that they choose to wear, they are subject to anger and abuse from people who call themselves "real Aussies."

Well, you know what? Fuck that.

All these years, I've been under the impression that, "for those who've come across the seas, we've boundless plains to share." Where did I get that from again? Oh that's right, our national anthem. To me, that line just sums this country up perfectly. After all, other than our indigenous community, we are all immigrants from one place or another.

So, I say to you so-called "true blue Aussies" - Do not drape yourself in our flag, tattoo yourself in our national symbols, and then abuse your fellow countryman. That is not the Australian way, and you do not speak for me, just as the lunatic at the centre of this siege does not speak for our Muslim friends.

EDITED TO ADD: Today (Friday the 19th) the memorial at Martin Place was disrupted by anti-Islamic protesters, draped in Australian flags, holding signs with statements such as "MR ABBOTT - WILL YOU PROTECT US FROM MULTICULTURALISM?" and "MUSLIM TERRORISTS NOT WELCOME HERE NEITHER ARE THEIR LEFTIST SUPPORTERS." This is exactly the kind of disgusting thing I was talking about above. All I have left to say about this despicable hijacking of a place of remembrance and mourning is - how dare you. How fucking dare you.

mamamedia liveblogs :: 2014 Big Brother Finale

WE ARE ATTEMPTING OUR FIRST LIVEBLOG, PEOPLE. Strap yourselves in. 

8:45: Oops, missed the beginning, too busy with ARIAs. 

8:49: Oh no, they're making them dance. That always ends well. 

* baby cried, missed a bit *

9:00: Recapping scandals with ex HMs, saw Cat & Lawson shoot each other a look. This should be good. 

9:04: No groundbreaking revelations there. Aish loves Trav, Jason's a fence sitter, and Cat won't admit that Lawson's best trick is Hide the Sausage. 

9:06: CONFLICTS. Katie & Lisa commentating; again, no real shockers. 

9:12: Recapping first 4 weeks - ahh, so many people. Money, kissing, kissing, strategy, dogs, strategy. 

9:16: These ex HM chats just show how little some of these people contributed to the narrative. "Marina! You can talk about....uhhh...Big Brother himself! Yeah that'll do." My bet is they'll have Dave & Priya discuss strategies. 

9:18: Sonia putting Lawson on the spot re: Cat. Good one Krugs. 

9:21: Oh Krugs is on fire - picking up on Jake & Lisa's relationship now. 

9:24: Leo votes for Travis to win, I really wish they'd shown us Skye's reaction to that. 

9:25: BB FINALE DRINKING GAME: Every time the camera turns to Skye and she fixes her hair, drink!

9:26: If you only watched the highlight package of her time in the house, Skye would seem like a lovely, sweet girl. Pity about the rest of the show. 

9:31: Recap of next 4 weeks. Clawson, Clawson, fight, tears, fight, evictions, Marina, tears. 

9:36: News update for the finalists. My favourite part of the finale!

9:37: Skye: "I don't watch the news!" Ryan: "You can hardly tell!" RYAN TO WIN. 

9:47: Recap weeks 9-10. Clawson, Travis, neighbors, sanctuary, Leo, tears, How To. 

9:56: Loved ones waiting at the door for the third place getter. Ryan's parents are adorable. 

 

9:58: Skye's sister is going to tell her she's put on weight. That's sibling love for you. 

10:07: It's time to go...SKYE!!! Finally, Australia's done the right thing. 

10:08: Ryan & Travis: last pair in, last pair out. A very fitting final two. 

10:14: Skye trips on the stairs into the auditorium - I've been waiting all season for someone to slip on that shiny floor. 

10:26: Big Brother tribute package - some of these HMs really can't deliver lines comfortably. Katie on the other hand, could make a really good weather girl. This definitely feels like a farewell to BB - for good. Worried that it's not coming back next year. 

10:28: Winner announcement imminent. As Trav would say - MASSIV. 

10:29: And the winner of Big Brother is...

10:30: ...RYAN!

* and at this point my daughter decided to soil her clothes & needed a bath. I returned to Trav's highlights package *

10:53: Ryan's out on stage now, and in shock by the looks of it. 

10:58: Highlights package done & dusted - a great HM all round in my opinion. 

11:00 "It's time to go...and have a baby!" We're out. 

All in all, I'm happy with how the season turned out. I would've liked for Dave to make it a bit further, but what can you do. 

And after all the speculation, it turns out that fears for the demise of BB may be premature - Sonia put out a casting call as the credits rolled. So we can do this all again next year!

mamamusings :: Meet Me In The Blanket Fort

As I write this, I'm in hiding. Any minute now, my tormentors could discover me, and the jig will be up.

I am, of course, referring to my darling husband & baby daughter.

In the infamous SSB episode of Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw spoke of her need to "decompress" at the end of the day - to walk into her apartment and be silent and alone. Now that I'm a mother, the only time I get to decompress is once the baby is down for the night - usually around 11pm. If you were to come into my bedroom around 1 in the morning, you would find me curled up with my iPad, catching up on my twitter feed, or reading a book by nightlight. Or occasionally, sitting on the bench top in my ensuite reading magazines. It's the only "me time" I get.

Don't get me wrong - I love my daughter with a ferocity heretofore unknown. She is delightful. But some days are harder than others, and I miss being able to take moments for myself to just breathe.

So today, I decided I was taking time out for myself. I took the baby downstairs with B, got her to sleep, and came up here & climbed straight back into bed. B thinks I have a migraine & need to sleep it off (which isn't a lie - my head is pounding this morning) but really, I just need a break. A moment to myself, hiding under the covers with a packet of biscuits and a copy of ELLE from March that I still haven't read. 

A moment, before Liv wakes and the jig is truly up.

Flashback Friday :: Big Brother 2001

EDITED TO ADD: I know, I know - it's not Friday. Good one Jess. This was intended to post on Friday, and stupid me hit Save as Draft instead of Publish. I could have just kept it & posted next Friday, but...I don't like having completed posts hanging around when they could be out there being read! So there you go. As I said on Twitter (follow me @mamamedia_au to read my condensed ramblings!) can I still blame it on baby brain? Survey says yes.


Being on maternity leave has meant that I have found myself with plenty of TV watching time on my hands. Let's face it - when you're spending a significant portion of your day breastfeeding, there's not much else you can do!

I've been taking a little walk down memory lane today, by starting to re-watch the inaugural season of Big Brother Australia. I wasn't a particularly avid viewer when it premiered - it was on my radar, but I wasn't much of a fan until the 2004/05 seasons.
 

So with that said, here are some of my thoughts so far...

:: They were allowed to take books in?! When did that rule change? To me, the whole challenge of BB is the lack of stimulation. Being able to take books & magazines means it was basically a holiday with strangers. A Contiki tour without the tour, if you will.  

:: And speaking of budget accommodation...God this house is basic. Single beds, a TV on wheels with a little speaker for the contestants to control, a cinderblock BBQ...it's like a school camp.

:: They definitely didn't go to great lengths to hide the cameras & mics this season, did they.

:: Gretel got away with so much more than Sonia would these days. From asking Sara-Marie if her lockdown buddy was any good in bed, to wondering whether Pete & Christina had feelings for each other or were just looking for a bit of "fiddledy-diddle" the innuendo is fantastic.

:: I miss Leon Murray's voice.

I think the later seasons have ruined me slightly for the early years. I'm used to the slick production values and flashy houses of the Channel 9 era. Although, I must admit that it's a bit refreshing to see the format at its most basic: a group of strangers, cut off from society, and forced to live together. No twists, no tricks, a true social experiment.

Personally, I think future seasons (if there are any; ratings haven't been stellar this year) should try and go back to basics a bit. Since the move from Channel 10 to 9, the show has pulled out more & more stunts, especially this season: Heads of House, Power Plays, 6 intruders, and almost $60,000 handed out to contestants already, with another $50,000 offered and refused. Whilst this might make for entertaining viewing and juicy promo material, it completely changes the nature of the game and can - consciously or not - affect the behaviour of the housemates. They are no longer just living in a house with a bunch of random new friends, they are killing time, waiting for the next big surprise: Will we be offered money? Will my family member walk through the door? Are we getting another 10 intruders? When will the next exciting thing be happening?! After all, it's not like they have much else in that house to think about...

OVER TO YOU! Thoughts? Do you like the flashy, new-gen BB, or are you a purist? Are you like my husband, who likes to act as if it's the worst program in the world, yet becomes ridiculously invested? OR, are you like my mother in law, who has studied sociology and finds it abhorrent, and wants it cancelled for good?
 

 

Breast Cancer. What. A. Bitch.

Been a bit quiet on the ol' blog front. Our family has had some unfortunate news in the last few weeks.

Two weeks ago, my mother in law was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. She has had surgery and is slowly on the mend whilst awaiting pathology results.

Needless to say, my husband is a bit broken. His parents separated when he was quite young, and he's a mama's boy to the core. In the best kind of way of course.

I've found myself in the enviable position of being both a wife trying to keep her husband's spirits up, and the daughter of a cancer survivor. My father was diagnosed with leukaemia when I was 17 and I vividly remember how much I hated the 'positive thinking' bullshit that people spout at someone dealing with a serious illness. I know, I know - they only mean well, and there's not much else they can say. I know. But when your loved one - especially a parent - is hooked up to a chemo drip, the last thing you want to hear is "don't worry! It will be fine!" Because YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

My MIL is a tough broad though. She's tiny of stature, but definitely not of spirit. She once got into an argument with a former Federal Opposition leader - in public - and OWNED his arse when he tried to talk down to her. She's an incredible woman who I have so much respect & admiration for, and who raised the most wonderful, caring & respectful man that I have ever met.

I'm looking forward to getting back to blogging though. I tried to keep it up over the last couple of weeks, but life inevitably got in the way, so I'm now left with a pile of half-finished posts that are destined for the trash can, as they are - literally - last weeks news.

Anyway. Onwards and up.

Motorsports & Misogyny

"She'll probably be texting her updates back to the pits"

"Get back in the kitchen"

"Bet she purs (sic) like a V8 too"

"69 will be a great number"

"Is there room for groceries in the boot of a V8 Supercar?"

I wish I could say I had made these delightful quotes up. Unfortunately though, this is the kind of bullshit sportswomen in Australia still have to deal with.

The above comments were all taken from an announcement regarding 19-year-old Renee Gracie's promotion to the V8 Supercars Dunlop Series in 2015. Gracie has previously competed in the Porsche Carrera Cup, and started her career in karting. 

V8 Supercars are very much a boys club in this country - Gracie will be the first female to contest a full season since 2001. 

Amongst the blatantly disgusting misogyny were suggestions that Gracie only received her promotion due to her looks and "marketability" and not her talent behind the wheel. 

Renee Gracie (Source: V8 Supercars)

Now, I don't follow the V8's or Carrera Cup (I'm a Formula One gal myself), so I can't comment on Gracie's performance as a driver, however I take umbrage with the suggestion of anyone - male or female - receiving preferential treatment based on appearances.

The V8 Supercars are one of Australia's most popular sports - they certainly aren't wanting for supporters. The suggestion that women are only promoted in order to attract male fans is not only offensive, it's laughable.

But my foray into the world of V8 commentary wasn't all bad at least - I was heartened to see so many men in the comments sticking up for Gracie, and condemning the sexist remarks. Still, I can't help but wonder how she would feel reading these horrible things.

At this point, I feel like all there is left to say is - Congratulations Renee. Give 'em hell.

Women's Fitness, CLEO, and Bauer's Next Move

Last week, Bauer Media announced that due to rising production costs and diminishing ad spend, the November 2014 issue of Women's Fitness will be its last. This move is in spite of strong figures for the title, with a 10.9 per cent growth in circulation for the six month period ended June 2014.

Now, a post on CLEO's Instagram page of Jesinta Campbell posing for "an exciting new mag for @cleoaustralia we have in the works" has people suspecting they're preparing to launch their own health & fitness title under the masthead.

 

(Source: AdNews)

I personally haven't read CLEO in several years. I let my subscription lapse in my early twenties after feeling like the content was starting to pitch to a younger audience. This decision was only affirmed when they relaunched in May 2013 under the editorship of Sharri Markson (now media editor for The Australian), causing the Sydney Morning Herald to brand them "prudish." When I first saw the cover, I actually mistook it for Dolly. The typeface, the air-kissy pose, the abundance of exclamation points...it was as if they had decided to leave the twentysomethings to Cosmo, and go after the teen demographic, who are starting to outgrow Dolly Doctor. Which may seem like a decent strategy, although it hasn't been reflected in their newsstand figures.

New-look Cleo, May 2013 issue (Source: SMH)

Ending June 2014, CLEO reported a drop of 30.10 per cent in circulation - numbers had dropped from 76,163 to 53,221. This followed Bauer's decision to combine the CLEO and Dolly editorial teams towards the end of 2013. Despite no longer being a reader, I would hate to see a home-grown title be shuttered.

It will be interesting to see how the CLEO fitness title performs, I have high hopes for the team, and will be eagerly awaiting circulation figures. Watch this space.

The ABC has gone #MentalAs

Alex* was the kind of guy you couldn't help but like. He transcended cliques; he was kind to everyone. He had a sharp mind and an even sharper wit. He had a filthy mouth and a beautiful heart. He was my friend.

Alex passed away in 2012, just over 2 years ago now. He took his own life, after a long battle with depression. I think of him often, and although I'm still devastated that he felt he couldn't stay with us, I hope that he is at peace.

As tragic as it is though, Alex's story is not an unfamiliar one: 45.5% of the Australian population experiences a mental health disorder at some point in their lifetime. And if you're not part of the 45.5% then you probably know someone who is...Whether you realise it or not.

Which is why the latest programming move by the ABC is so fucking brilliant.

(Source: ABC)

From the ABC press statement:

"To kick-start a national conversation about mental health across the wider community, the ABC is launching Mental As... the biggest ever cross-platform programming event conducted by the ABC, for Mental Health Week, 5-12 October 2014.

Across ABC TV, radio, online and mobile ABC Mental As... will take a look at mental health from all angles and perspectives, from comedy to documentary, entertainment to debate, as we aim to help join the dots on mental health in Australia."

I've been trying to catch as many of these specials as I can, and whilst they aren't always particularly easy to watch, they are incredibly powerful. More than that, they are important. Anything that can help even a single person is important.

God, I have so much more I would like to say, but I just can't seem to find the words. All I know is that I've seen too many wonderful people be broken by these insidious diseases.

*name has been changed

Jules Bianchi & the Japanese Grand Prix

(Source: Twitter)

I grew up with a father and a younger brother who both loved motorsports. Formula 1, MotoGP, V8 Supercars - they played on our TV year round. As a little girl, I used to look through the TV Guide and tell Dad when his races were on. It made me feel important, as though he would definitely miss them if I didn't let him know. And that was pretty much the extent of my interest. I just failed to find the appeal in watching cars drive around in circles.

Earlier this year however, I found myself sitting down to watch the Melbourne F1 GP with B, my husband - and God help me, I enjoyed it.

Since then, I've watched every race - sometimes with B, sometimes with my Dad, and sometimes all on my lonesome. I've cheered along with Daniel Ricciardo when he's won, I've winced with Kimi Raikkonen after his crash at Silverstone, and I've rolled my eyes at the Hamilton-Rosberg rivalry. I've loved being able to share the joy of a sport that I'd previously written off with my family...much to the bemusement of my mother and sister, who still don't quite understand what's happened to me. In short - I enjoy it greatly.

Last night though, was not an enjoyable race. Not just for us at home, but for the F1 community as a whole.

From the FIA's post-race statement: "On lap 42, Adrian Sutil lost control of his car, spun and hit the tyre barrier on the outside of Turn 7. The marshals displayed double waved yellow flags before the corner to warn drivers of the incident. A recovery vehicle was dispatched in order to lift the car and take it to a place of safety behind the guard rail. While this was being done the driver of car 17, Jules Bianchi, lost control of his car, travelled across the run-off area and hit the back of the tractor."

B & I were a bit shell shocked in the immediate aftermath, not entirely sure what had happened, and judging by the stuttering commentators, we weren't alone. Soon though, the details started filtering through, and we were devestated.

The thing that hit me the hardest is that Bianchi is my age. Only a few weeks separate us, in fact. I sat in silence, looking around my home, at my husband and my daughter, and thought about how much life we both have left to live, and how, in the blink of an eye, his might have just been brought to a tragically premature end on a global stage. And my heart ached for him, for his family, for his friends, and for his colleagues.

It has been over 20 years since the last death in F1, when Ayrton Senna & Roland Ratzenberger both passed away within 24 hours of each other at the San Marino Grand Prix. Since then, it's been easy for fans to become complacent and forget just how dangerous this sport can be. Yesterday was a heartbreaking reminder of how fragile we all are.

My thoughts and prayers are with Jules, his loved ones, and the entire F1 family.

#ForzaJules

mamamusings :: Tea & Apathy

I am a terrible housewife.

I mean, I love vacuuming, and I can iron like a champion, but if you were to ask my husband what my biggest domestic weakness is, he would, without a doubt, respond thusly:

"She doesn't cook dinner."

...Am I the only one who finds the entire concept of meals tiresome? I am a grazer - I eat a little here & there when I feel like it. And it's even worse now on maternity leave, without the structure of a working day & the breaks that it entails.

In a perfect world, he would arrive home from work to find me in the kitchen, cheerfully preparing something both delicious and nutritious, completely from scratch. Of course, in this perfect world, my hair is set, I am dressed in a pretty-yet-casual floral frock, and our daughter is serenely playing with her toys.

In reality though, he often arrives home to a woman still in PJs with her hair hastily thrown up in a messy topknot to stop the baby from ripping it out by the roots. The drapes are still drawn, the cats haven't been fed, and forget playing with her toys - at this stage, all she wants to do with her playmat is pee on it.

Frankly, I am too busy keeping an infant alive - I have very little energy left to think about food.

For the sake of my marriage though, I really do need to sort this shit out.

Ugh. Exhausted already.

Starting Over, Yet Again...

Why another attempt at blogging, Jessica?

I guess I had the idea the other day when I found myself balancing a magazine on top of my baby...who I happened to be breastfeeding at the time.

[This is where I had written a lot of flowery introduction bullshit, but then I read it back & thought "ugh, you loser, DELETED"]

I'm just a new mum, who is becoming increasingly aware of the unread magazines piling up in her lounge room. Who can't remember the last time she sat down with a cup of tea & read the Sunday papers. Who occasionally hides in the bathroom to check her twitter feed.

In short - I miss my pre-baby "me time" and am trying to snatch little bits of it back where I can. (The other day, this involved me reading Vogue through the glass whilst showering. I kind of wish that weren't true.)

Also, I don't get out of the house much. There's only so much dissection of the September issues my husband can take. My three month old daughter isn't offering up much in the way of conversation either. So, I can just ramble on here instead of boring them.

Does that answer the question?

...probably not, but eh, I'm sleep deprived. 'Til next time!
J.

...oh, and yes, that title is a Sex and the City reference. Well spotted.