mamamedia liveblogs :: The 2015 Logie Awards

Tonight's liveblog brought to you by Crust Pizza and Jacobs Creek Cab Merlot. Oh yeah, we're hella fancy 'round these here parts. 

7:30: And we're off! No host this year, so we open simply to "your first presenter for the evening", Dave Hughes.

7:40: Dave is now deep into a tight ten and I still don't know what award he's presenting. 

7:43:  OK, first award of the night: Most Popular Entertainment Program. Come onnn, Hamish & Andy!

7:45: YES Ham and Ando! We're one for one guys!

7:48: Eddie Perfect & Amanda Keller out to present Most Popular Drama. Doing some awkward Play School comedy, not sure how well it's playing in the room, but it's not doing well in my lounge room, I'll tell you that much. 

7:52: PATTRRRRICCKKK. That damn clip for the Offspring nom just brought tears to my eyes. I will never forgive them for killing him off.

7:53: And the Logie goes to...Home And Away. Ooh, Charlie Clausen sighting! (If you don't listen to his podcast TOFOP, then get on that guys, post-haste.)

8:01: Musical act already, eh? Ricky Martin performing, introduced by the boobalicious Delta Goodrem. My husband suspects she's had a boob job; I remain on the fence. Further inspection is needed! <insert plug for upcoming season of The Voice here>

8:05: Peter Helliar & Denise Scott presenting Most Outstanding Comedy. I picked Utopia....

8:10: ...and Utopia for the win! Celia Pacquola looks babin' tonight as well, by the way. 

8:13: Next up is the Logie for Most Popular Actress, which has been won by Asher Keddie for the past 5 years. Lets make it six in a row Neens!

8:14: YES ASHER! She seriously earned it though, that final season of Offspring was just heartbreaking and Asher was nothing less than incredible. 

8:20: The Bondi Vet & Miss Universe presenting the Logie for Most Popular Presenter. Odds are it'll be Bickmore, but I'm #TeamAndo

8:23: ...and Carrie takes it out as expected. Looking amazing for a new mum, get it girl. 

8:26: "God, she's so thin, can you stand it?" Julia Morris comes out after Carrie to present Most Outstanding Entertainment Program...which...hang on, did they not run through the nominees before Julia ripped into the envelope? Hmm. That's odd. 

8:31: Just so you know, The Voice won, which I didn't expect, but congratulations, I guess! Next year is yours Micallef!!

8:32: "Did I forget to talk about the nominees?? I'm gonna be in really big trouble..." As Julia runs through the nominees post announcement. Live television folks!

Oops...

8:34: And now for the part of the evening where we run through the awards deemed not important enough to be presented on air!

8:41: Justine Clark (whose kids music my daughter LOVES incidentally) and Gary Sweet are out to present Most Popular New Talent. Lets go, Love Child ladies!

8:42: And the Logie goes to...Miranda Tapsell! (NAILED IT.) And doesn't she look ecstatic, bless. I love seeing the new kids so excited to win. 

8:44: "People obviously love seeing *this* so why deprive them of that?" - Miranda making an impassioned plea to put more Indigenous actors on TV, and earns a standing ovation. YES MIRANDA. What a star. Hope she takes out the Graham Kennedy gong as well. 

8:47: Shane "Kenny" Jacobson interviewing the Gold Logie nominees, which goes incredibly well when it comes to talking to Stephen Peacocke via satellite. The delay, combined with Stephen's earnest responses makes it feel like a breakfast television interview, not a gag between awards. 

8:49: Richard Wilkins is introducing Meghan Trainor, performing a "medley of her greatest hits" ...pretty sure she's only had 2, right? Meghan sounds like she has the flu and is dancing like a club girl at 2am whose feet are killing her. Lots of gingerly stepping happening on that stage. Not sure whether its the skyscraper heels or the skintight skirt, but either way, she looks uncomfortable. 

8:52: And as predicted, her medley consisted of 2 songs. THAT IS NOT A MEDLEY. 

8:59: Hamish & Andy presenting Most Popular Reality Program, and are announcing the nominees by way of a Bachelor rose ceremony, featuring the stars of the nominees, PLUS special guest Bachelor Blake. Well played boys. 

9:01: "Thank you Osher" "No, it's Andy" "Nah, you changed it" - Nice dig at Osher  "Andrew G" Gunsberg. 

9:05: The Logie goes to...The Block! Unlike previous years, the contestants don't take the stage, but we do get a shot of the Voss brothers - winners of Glasshouse - cheering and Shaynna Blaze perching on Neale Whitaker's lap. 

9:09: Jonathan LaPaglia (who I spotted in an episode of Castle the other day - SPOILER ALERT: he did it) and Gracie Gilbert presenting Most Popular Actor to Stephen Peacocke, again via satellite  from London. 

9:16: Oh damn, In Memoriam sections always make me cry. Rest in peace, Richie Benaud, you were marvelous. 

9:18: OH MOTHERFUCKERS WHY DID YOU HAVE TO USE 'TIME TO SAY GOODBYE' AS THE SOUNDTRACK TO THIS SEGMENT. Unlike any other, this song instantly brings hot tears to my eyes, no matter the context, ever since it was the processional music at my beloved great-grandfathers funeral. We love you and we miss you, Wal. 

9:21: Bah, I really hate it when people applaud during In Memoriam segments. Treat like a primary school merit award presentation: hold your applause until the end!

9:29: Shane Jacobson back in the audience interviewing the Gold Logie nominees, pulling out some stellar footage of a teeny Asher Keddie from Young Talent Time back in '83. 

9:33: Mick Molloy presenting Most Outstanding Sports Coverage. I don't really have an opinion on these nominees one way or another, but I did watch an awful lot of sport last year. When I was up all night with my tiny baby, the late night broadcasts of Formula 1, Wimbledon, FIFA World Cup, Commonwealth Games and Winter Olympics were far more entertaining than infomercials or televangelists. I truly was spoilt for choice, which is a credit to our world class sports journalism. (Oh, and the FIFA Cup coverage won the Logie, BTDubs.)

9:42: Sylvia Jeffreys and Waleed Aly present Most Outstanding News Coverage. God, that Sydney Siege footage is still like a punch in the gut. What a horrible day that was. Rest in peace, Tori and Katrina. 

9:44: Channel 7 wins the award for their siege coverage, and Melissa Doyle accepts with dignity and grace, acknowledging that it is a horrible thing for which to win, and not really something to celebrate. A much better acceptance speech than the one given a few years back by another Channel 7 journalist (cough Armatage cough), who accepted a Logie for their coverage of the NZ mine disaster and praised the team for their "amazing" work in such a "hostile environment." Yeah, these were the reporters who banged on the doors of the widows, and who said in press conferences that the firefighters should be sent in to the collapsed mine because "they sent rescuers into the Twin Towers". I can't imagine why they were being faced with "hostility." Ugh. 

9:54: The Script filling in last minute for Sam Smith, who is laid up with a vocal haemmorhage. Yikes. Get well soon, Sam!

9:58: Next up: Most Outstanding Miniseries or Telemovie. I wish I had an opinion on this, but I haven't seen any of the nominees. Cough. Anyway, the Logie goes to Devils Playground. 

10:10: Dannii Minogue comes on stage to present the Hall Of Fame award to Home And Away. There's quite a bit of commotion in the audience as she walks out, I would love to know what was happening. 

10:16: I don't watch it anymore, but I loved Home And Away as a young girl. I still remember being devastated by the deaths of Ailsa, Bobbi and Noah, and wishing that I could live in Summer Bay. 

10:18: Second Clausen sighting of the night! He appears to be crying, which is...unexpected. 

10:21: More awards not important enough to be presented live. 

10:27: Sonia Kruger comes out with one of the lads from The Script to present the Graham Kennedy Award for Most Outstanding New Talent. She seems a bit tipsy, although maybe she's just excited to be having a night out. New motherhood is tough, you guys. Anyway, bring it home, Miranda!

10:28: And the Logie goes to...Miranda Tapsell!! (NAILED IT TWICE.) I think this is a wonderful moment, not just for her, but for the wider Indigenous community, who are criminally underrepresented on our TV screens. 

10:32: Meghan Trainor back again. I have to say...I really don't get the hype, but good for her, she's obviously doing very well for herself. 

10:39: Clegg and Nina, I mean, Lachy Hulme and Asher Keddie out on stage to present the Silver Logie to Most Outstanding Actress. 

10:43: ...And the Silver Logie goes to Danielle Cormack, who is rocking a smoking hot jumpsuit. 

10:45: Asher & Lachy have hung around to present the Silver Logie for Most Outstanding Actor to Luke Arnold for INXS: Never Tear Us Apart. Unfortunately, Luke isn't there to accept, so...moving on. 

10:55: And the Logie for Most Outstanding Drama goes to...Wentworth! Well done to the cast & crew. 

11:04: After 17 hours, it's finally time for the Gold Logie, presented tonight by the sexy triumvirate of Kerri Anne Kennerley, Delta Goodrem and Kate Richie. I love these ladies, but I have to say it's strange not seeing the Gold be presented by Bert Newton. Especially when they cut to Patti Newton in the audience. Where is Bert?!

11:07: And the Gold Logie goes to...Carrie Bickmore! Who looks like she's been enjoying her first night out without baby Evie, as she gets her dress stuck under her chair and then stumbles on the stairs up to the stage. Go mama, enjoy the free champagne!

11:09: ...And this is when I feel horrible about making jokes, because Carrie is now making a beautiful speech in tribute to her husband Greg, who passed away after a decade long battle with brain cancer. I'm sure he's watching over you & smiling tonight Carrie, congratulations. 

#Beanies4BrainCancer

And we're done! Oh what a night. 

Ahh, to be a fly on the wall at the after parties...

mamamedia liveblogs :: The Block Triple Threat Finale

After three months of tears, tantrums, unpaid plasterers and WINE CONSPIRACIES, another season of The Block comes to an end with tonights auction.

And apparently it's set to be a cracker, with the most money ever given away on TV. 

I know they haven't always been popular with the public, but I do hope Dea & Darren do well tonight, after last seasons disappointing result. Also, I'm slightly evil and I think the other couples would absolutely HATE it if they were to win...which would be hilarious.

So pour yourself a glass of red, settle in and join us for all the shenanigans!

7:37: And we're off!! 

7:38: Oh awesome, there's a fight to look forward to. I'm assuming its over the auction order, which always causes drama. 

7:44: Dea spotted wearing a loom band bracelet at the Opens: I'm guessing from one of her daughters or a little fan who brought it along as a present. Either way, ADORABLE.

7:47: Hah, nailed it: the fight is over the auction order. What a surprise. 

7:53: And now, for the annual Dance of the Armoured Guards. Seriously, this is ridiculous. These poor guys. 

*** At this point I was interrupted by a phone call, so am now on a 15 minute delay. RUDE. ***

8:16: I'm back! Reserves have just been revealed, as follows:

Josh and Charlotte: $1,390,000

Tim and Anastasia: $1,420,000

Jess and Ayden: $1,335,000

Dea and Darren: $1,455,000

8:18: Wait, that seemed like a really odd smash cut to the auction order discussion. For a second, I thought that my Foxtel had jumped ahead. 

8:22: I don't know why D&D are being guilted into going first, this is a competition. Every man for himself, I say.

8:24: So once again, we've gone to the hat! Order is:

1st: Tim & Anastasia

2nd: Jess & Ayden

3rd: Dea & Daz

4th: Josh & Char

8:31: Tim & Ana up first, and straight out of the block,this is massive.  First bid was $1.5m, an easy $80k profit with the first bid. And it just explodes from there! It's gone so quickly that I can't keep up, at the moment they're sitting at $2.08m, a $660k profit. Jeeeez. And to think, D&D didn't want to go first...

8:35: Sold for $2.175m, a profit of $755,000 for Tim & Anastasia. DAMN. And they say quitters never win...

8:41: Jess & Ayden up next. Let's see if there's a similar bidding frenzy...

8:43: Opening bid of $1.7m. WHAT. THE. FUCK. 

8:44: Another auction that's too fast to keep up with, at present they're on $2m and a $665k profit. 

8:45: Sold for $2m. Well done! It's at this point though that I worry about a repeat of Glasshouse: the first two auctions go gangbusters, everyone gets excited, and then the last ones die a slow and painful death. 

8:53: Time for the double D's, crossing my fingers for a win!

8:55: Opening bid of $1.9m - YES! Go you good things. 

8:56: In the space of about 90 seconds, they are now $10,000 awa- oh wait, YES they've beaten T&A! Ohh yeah. 

9:00: Sold for $2.29m, with $835k profit. #TeamDoubleDs

9:02: Josh & Charlotte are now up, and God, wouldn't it suck for them to lose whilst sitting in their own apartment, after everyone else has sat on their couch and made 6 figures?

9:03: Opening bid of $1.8m, straight away a profit of $410k. AMAZING. 

9:05: Auction on hold whilst buyer advocate Frank phones a friend, giving me a chance to catch up - currently on $2.17m, a $780k profit. 

9:07: Sold for $2.2m, a $810k profit, which means Darren & Dea take home the extra $100k, bringing their winnings to $935,000. WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK. That was INSANE. 

Well, I have to say that was a far more entertaining finale than Glasshouse. Even when I don't like the couple (cough T&A cough) you still don't really want to see them fail. And when you think about how "last place" this season still made $665,000...well, you're not really losers, are you?

Thanks for playing, Blockheads! See you next season!

mamamedia (kind of) liveblogs :: The 2015 Academy Awards

OK, so this is beginning about an hour and a half after the broadcast began. You can thank my darling devil baby for that. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT MAMA HAS AN AWARDS SHOW TO WATCH LIV?! Inconsiderate.

Here we go!

1:30: Why hello, Neil Patrick Harris, you handsome devil. From here on in, he will be referred to as NPH - much quicker.

1:35: ANNA KENDRICK ALERT. What a babe.

1:40: "This side of the room is the other 7 nominees...and American Sniper is Oprah. ...Because you're rich."

1:45: Best Supporting Actor. I backed J.K. Simmons, as did the rest of the world.

1:48: And the Oscar goes to...J.K! One point for me!

1:49: Aww, standing ovation for Simmons, I love that. How sweet.

1:57: Maroon 5 performing "Lost Stars" from the movie Begin Again, nominated for Best Song. It's fine, if a bit flat. That movie though? LOVED it. And I'm not a movie person, so that says a lot.

2:01: Jennifer Lopez presenting Best Costume Design...where have I seen her dress before?!? I swear, someone has worn that to an awards night previously. Hmm.

2:14: As Shirley Maclaine presents some of the nominees for Best Picture, there's a nice shot of Michael Keaton chomping away on his gum. Lovely.

2:18: I've said it before and I'll say it again: LEGO MOVIE WAS ROBBED. Anyway, this is an awesome performance of Everything Is Awesome, which is at least nominated for Best Song. Needless to say, Oprah was feeling it.

2:32: "I'm Not Gonna Miss You" by Glen Campbell, performed by Tim McGraw - TEARJERKER. Written for his family after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.

2:36: NPH out on stage in socks & jocks. You've gotta admire his commitment to a bit. But...I mean...with that body...why wouldn't you, is what I'm saying.

2:40: "They are 4 women, and in accordance with California state law, Meryl Streep." A cracking zinger by Jared Leto presenting Best Supporting Actress. I, along with everyone else, backed Patricia Arquette.

2:43: And the Oscar goes to...Patricia Arquette! (YES I PICKED ANOTHER ONE)

2:45: Hey, I just received a shout out in Patricia's speech! (She thanked every woman who has ever given birth...I'm taking it.) She also got a hell of a response from the audience when she ended her speech calling for equality for women. YES GET IT PATRICIA.

2:50: DAMN YOU DONAGHY. Chloe Grace Moretz will always be Kaylie Hooper from
30 Rock to me. The best damn teen villain of all time.

2:56: Zoe Saldana looks criminally good for a woman who has recently birthed twins. Ugh. Just stop it.

3:07: "In Long Walk To Freedom, he liberated South Africa. In Zero Dark Thirty, she brought down Osama bin Laden. In A Million Ways To Die In The West, I pooped in a hat." - NPH.

3:10: OH GOD IN MEMORIAM SECTION SOMEONE GET ME TISSUES.

3:13: This tribute is visually stunning. Simply beautiful design.

3:21: Terrence Howard introducing Best Picture nominees...anyone else getting hints of Joey Tribbiani's toast at Monica & Chandler's wedding? "WHY, GOD, WHY, HOW COULD YOU TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME?" Take it down a notch, Terry. This isn't an audition.

3:31: Idina Menzel & John Travolta presenting Best Original Song. Squeezing every last drop out of the Adele Dazeem fiasco.

3:34: And the Oscar goes to...GLORY! Yes! Well deserved, congrats to Common & John Legend.

3:36: Powerful speech by Common & John, and totally deserving of their standing ovation.

3:42: Lady Gaga performing a tribute to Sound Of Music...I'm so glad she's just singing now, she's so fucking talented, she doesn't need all the bells and whistles. AND - she is stunningly beautiful. Which you can fail to notice when she's wearing offal as outerwear.

3:46: JULIE. ANDREWS. Bow down bitches. She is aging magnificently. See, ladies of Hollywood, it is OK to age! You can do it!

4:03: The stunning Cate Blanchett out on stage to present Best Actor. Team Eddie!

4:07: And the Oscar goes to...Eddie Redmayne! Aww. He's so happy, it's adorable. I love seeing people unable to contain how freaking excited they are to be holding that little golden man.

4:11: Matthew McConaughey-hey-hey presenting Best Actress. Alright, alright, alright. I saw that the odds this morning were $1.01 for Julianne Moore to take it out...so, y'know, it's a pretty tight race here.

4:14: And the Oscar goes to Julianne, surprising absolutely no one.

4:23: "At the end, it's all about the movies." Sean Penn presenting the final award of the night, Best Picture. And the Oscar goes to...

4:25: ...Birdman! The cast & crew onstage look ecstatic, methinks they'll be hitting the bar hard tonight. Michael Keaton looks like he'd be an awesome drinking buddy. Plus,  you know that man's got some stories. I'd interrogate him for hours about his 30 Rock cameo alone.

And we're out! All done for another year, and overall, it was a very predictable year. Not to say that the winners weren't deserving - incredible performances, all round - but there were no surprises.

See you next awards season!

mamamedia liveblogs :: The 2015 Grammy Awards

And we're off! 

12:00: AC/DC opening the show, they've still got it.

12:04: Dave Grohl & Lady Gaga spotted getting into it, always great to see the celebrities unafraid to dance along. 

12:06: OHHH they're glowing devil horns in the crowd! I just assumed they were glow sticks. Nice! 

12:08: First award of the night is Best New Talent, presented by Taylor Swift, in a gorgeous teal gown. 

12:10: And the Grammy goes to...Sam Smith! As expected really, but I would've loved for HAIM to win.

12:16: Anna Kendrick in a smashing lady tux introducing Ariana Grande's performance. Full disclosure: I am not a fan of Miss Grande. I don't have much time for anyone who insists on being shot from one side at all times. By all accounts, she's not particularly pleasant to deal with. Anyway, this performance is one big bowl of 'meh'.

12:20: Jessie J & Tom Jones performing together next. Jessie's dress appears to consist of black cottontails and some spiderwebs. 

12:23: Chrissy Teigen spotting! Love her hair, love her dress, love her chair dancing. Love love love.

12:24: And the Grammy for Best Pop Solo Performance goes to...Happy by Pharrell Williams!

12:25: ...what is Mrs Pharrell wearing? I'm not loving the formal jumpsuit. 

12:27: "I'm gonna moonwalk off this stage right now." That's not moonwalking Pharrell, that's just regular walking. 

12:32: Uh oh, we may be having issues with the feed here in Australia. 

12:34: Never mind, we're back. Miranda Lambert now performing. Not being a country music fan, I have nothing to add here. 

12:37: A Lifetime Achievement recognition goes to the Bee Gees. Whilst on stage, Barry is also presenting Best Pop Vocal Album. 

12:38: And the Grammy goes to...Sam Smith! Again, expected.  

12:44: "This man certainly believes in himself..." Understatement of the year when referring to Kanye. 

12:46: "Why is he singing with auto-tune?" "BECAUSE HE'S AN ARTIST." - conversation that just took place between my husband and I. 

12:49: Miley Cyrus & Nicki Minaj introducing the next performance by Madonna. This should be interesting. 

12:51: This is...awkward. All of it. The dancers seem blinded by their masks and Madge looks like she hasn't actually had a chance to rehearse with them. Also, my breasts are hurting just looking at her leotard. 

12:55: Best Rock Album presented by Josh Duhamel and...two of the Patriots. Could not tell you their names, alas. And the Grammy goes to...Morning Phase by Beck! 

1:03: Best R&B Performance goes to...Beyonce for Drunk In Love. Another expected winner. 

1:06: Ed Sheeran performing Thinking Out Loud with John Mayer, Questlove and...damn, missed the others. Sorry to the other musical guest/s!

1:12: SPOTTED: Nicole Kidman busting out some epic mom dance moves. 

1:26: Hozier performing Take Me To Church with special guest Annie Lennox. 

1:28: Take Me To Church has transitioned into I Put A Spell On You...and speaking of spells, what kind of witchcraft is Annie using? The woman is aging magnificently. 

1:32: Meghan Trainor & Nick Jonas presenting Best Country Album. And the Grammy goes to...Platinum by Miranda Lambert. 

1:35: A very theatrical reinterpretation if Happy by Pharrell. Dark. 

1:44: A message from President Obama regarding the Its On Us campaign to end violence against women. 

1:46: "Authentic love does not devalue another human being." A powerful speech by a domestic violence survivor. 

1:58: Lady Gaga & Tony Bennett performing Cheek To Cheek. Proving that  she doesn't need meat dresses or facial prosthetics to entertain, when she has as incredible a voice as she does. 

2:45: OK, baby is asleep, and we're back for Kanye, Rihanna & Paul McCartney's performance. Such an odd combination, but it works!

2:53: Sam Smith & Mary J Blige performing Stay With Me, as introduced by Taylor Swift - a self professed fangirl of Smith. 

3:00: The return of Prince & his cane! Here to present Album Of The Year. The Grammy goes to...Beck, for Morning Phase. 

3:01: STAGE INVASION BY KANYE YES.

3:04: Sia performance introduced by Shia LaBeouf with some sort of rambling poetry. Eccentric as always. 

3:10: Song Of The Year, presented by Enrique Iglesias. Hoping for a Sia win, for no other reason than sheer curiosity about how she would accept the award. 

3:11: And the Grammy goes to...Sam Smith, again. Ahh well, good on him. 

3:38: Baby woke up, had to take another break! Jamie Foxx & Stevie Wonder present Record Of The Year. To Sam Smith, again. 

3:39: "I'd like to thank the man who I fell in love with last year, and who inspired this album. Thank you for breaking my heart, because now I've got 4 Grammys!" - Sam is the new Adele. 

3:43: Gosh I hate applause in the In Memoriam segments. Please hold applause to the end people! It seems so insensitive that a songwriter or agent gets a polite smattering of applause, and a Robin Williams will receive whoops and cheers. 

3:48: Hit fast forward through Beyonce's performance. Sorry Beyhive. 

3:50: Ahh, Glory. Beautiful song, performed by beautiful men. Hoping for another Chrissy Teigen cry face cameo. 

3:53: WAIT WAIT WAIT - What the hell happened to the feed?!? After John & Common finished, it cut to Sam & Mary J Blige's performance again and then the credits rolled? Is that it? WHAT?

4:00: OK, so it appears that Glory was the closing performance. If that was mentioned in the intro, then I missed it. My bad! Still, it was a jarring end to the telecast at our end at least. 

So there you have it! Sam Smith easily the big winner tonight, as expected by most. A few surprises in there, and notably no gongs for Iggy Azalea...which I'm sure a few people are happy about.

In terms of the bajillion performances tonight, my favourite was easily Glory - the night definitely ended on a high. Simple and elegant, which is all you need when the song is so strong on its own. At the other end of the scale for me was Madonna. I still don't really know what that was, but I do know that I didn't like it. And unlike others, I'm not going to fawn all over it JUST because its Madonna. Hashtag sorry not sorry. 

That was fun! Meet back here for the Oscars? DEAL. 

mamamedia liveblogs :: The 2015 Golden Globe Awards

Welcome to the 72nd annual Golden Globe Awards!

12:00: Aaaand we're off! (Re: time difference - I'm in Sydney, Oz, so this is being televised Monday midday, yet I'll be referring to the show as happening "tonight".)

12:01: "You despically spoiled, minimally talented brats!" And in her first line, Tina has referenced the leaked Sony emails about Angelina. God I love her.

12:03: "Boyhood proves that there are still great roles for women over 40, as long as you're hired when your under 40."

12:05: "We should explain...cake is like...a fluffy dessert that people eat on their birthdays! "And birthdays are something that people celebrate when they admit that they've aged."

12:06: Rewinding Tina's line about Amal Clooney, because it is just too good and I need to transcribe it for you so you can enjoy it with me...

Here we go:  "George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an advisor to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was elected to a three person UN commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip...so tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award!"

12:10: "...and Sleeping Beauty thought she was just getting coffee with Bill Cosby." BIG oooohs in the room at that line.

12:12: WOW that is quite the split in Jennifer Aniston's dress. Careful on the stairs Jen!

12:14: First award: Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture. I believe I backed Ruffalo. Let's see if my blind pointing was right...

12:15: ...nope. J.K. Simmons it is!

12:17: well, my TV just skipped a bit during J.K's speech, so not sure if I've missed anything. I'm hoping it just went to an ad break!

12:20: Jeremy Renner is an Avenger, but J.Lo looks like the superhero.

12:22: Fargo wins Best Miniseries/TV Movie. I've heard it's well-deserved, so congratulations, Fargo team!

12:26: Billy Bob wins Best Actor, Miniseries/TV Movie for Fargo. Again, congrats.

12:30: Awkward North Korea bit with Meryl & Margaret Cho. Seems like it's dying in the room, too.

12:32: "HFPA President, and tall Dutch drink of water, Theo Kingma!" ...Can't comment on his tall-drink-of-water-ness, since he reminds me of another tall Dutchman - my grandfather.

12:33: Kingma receives a standing ovation for his moving statement on behalf of HFPA regarding recent global events. Very well said sir.

12:37: Best Actress - TV Series, Comedy/Musical: I backed Taylor Schilling for OITNB...

12:37: ...damn, 0 for 2. Gina Rodriguez wins for Jane the Virgin.

12:38: "Dad used to tell me to say 'today's going to be a great day - I can.' Well dad, today is a great day, I can and I did." Aww, what a beautiful speech. Happy for her.

12:39: Best TV series - Comedy/Musical. I abstained from voting in protest...

12:40: ...and Transparent wins. A seemingly deserving show, so well done to the team. I am gracious in B99-related defeat.

12:48: Johann Johannsson wins Best Original Score for The Theory Of Everything. They'll be partying in Iceland tonight.

12:49: Prince presenting Best Original Song...looking very...Prince-like.

12:51: YES! John Legend and Common win for Selma! Chrissy Teigen - Mrs Legend - is looking stunning as always.

12:52: Amazing speech by Common. Beautiful words about the faces of civil rights in America.

12:59: Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series - C'monnn Bomer...

1:00: YES! Nailed it! Matt Bomer for the win!

1:03: "And if we've learnt one thing, it's that famous people are above the law...as it should be." Love Ricky Gervais. What I also love: his drinking on stage.

1:04: Best Actress - Motion Picture, Comedy/Musical. I backed Emily Blunt...

1:05: ...damn. Ahh well, congrats Amy Adams!

1:14: Best Animated Film...I think you know how I feel about this one...

1:15: WHAT! LEGO MOVIE WAS ROBBED!! Everything is NOT awesome.

1:18: Best Supporting Actress - Motion Picture, Comedy/Musical. Team Emma!

1:18: ...damn. Congrats Patricia Arquette! Seriously though, my tips are going abysmally right now. Good thing I didn't have money on this.

1:25: Oh no, they've brought Margaret Cho's North Korean character back. Sigh.

1:27: Awkward-funny Kristen Wiig-Bill Hader bit. Reminds me of her & Will Ferrell a few years back. TOMMY LEE JONES IS UNIMPRESSED.

1:34: "It's nice that men are finally getting the recognition they deserve." Sassy Jane Fonda is brilliant.

1:35: Best Actor - TV Series, Comedy/Musical. As with the best series category, I abstained from voting. SHOW SAMBERG & BRAUGHER SOME LOVE.

1:35: Congratulations to Jeffrey Tambor, who dedicated his award to the transgender community. Lovely.

1:43: I mentioned it on Twitter, but I'll say it again here: Lupita Nyong'o is looking absolutely STUNNING tonight. I think she's my pick for Best Dressed this year.

1:47: Kate Beckinsale presenting Best Actress in Miniseries/TV Movie - all I have to say is, she loves herself a high bun.

*** Had to take a break here to put Liv down for her nap, but I'm back! Commentary is now delayed a bit, so I'll be steering clear of Twitter, lest I be spoiled.***

2:10: Tina & Amy have had a costume change. Amy is now in a sleek, sexy black and/or navy gown, and Tina - oh God, be still my heart - Tina is in a lady tux, complete with undone bowtie hanging casually around her neck.

2:12: Best TV Series - Drama. I picked Game of Thrones...

2:13: ...I AM SO BAD AT THIS. The win goes to The Affair.

2:14: So not only was The Affair's acceptance speech played off, but they couldn't get them off the stage either. They were still milling about behind Catherine Zeta-Jones as she started her intro.

2:15: Best Actor - TV Series, Drama. I picked Dominic West through the highly scientific method of closing my eyes & pointing...

2:15 ...which turns out to be a horrible method, as the award goes to Kevin Spacey for House Of Cards. Next awards show, I'm doing my research!

2:17: "This is the EIGHTH time I've been nominated...I cannot fucking believe that I won." Kevin Spacey wins best one liner in acceptance speech tonight.

2:22: "Because in a town and an industry where it is so easy to lose touch with who you are and what really matters,  he has never been anything but real." Julianna Margulies and Don Cheadle are giving an amazing tribute to this years winner of the Demille Lifetime Achievement Award, George Clooney.

2:29: Oh my God, George and Amal are so cute, it kills me. I think they're going to make it guys.

2:37: "Fine, you can take your own helicopter home." - Anna Faris & Chris Pine presenting together are just adorable.

2:38: Best Actress - TV Series, Comedy/Musical. I picked Viola Davis for How To Get Away With Murder...

2:39: ...and my losing streak continues! Ruth Wilson wins for The Affair.

2:41: Best Actor - Motion Picture, Comedy/Musical. C'mon, Michael Keaton, break the streak!

2:42: The GG goes to Michael Keaton! THAT'S ONE FOR ME!

2:50: Time for Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy. Due to the one-two punch of musical and Kendrick, I voted Into The Woods.

2:51: Aaaaand The Grand Budapest Hotel takes it out. Wonderful.

2:56: Best Actress - Motion Picture, Drama. For once, I am #TeamJen...

2:57: OH COME ON! Julianne Moore for Still Alice. ...Although I do love Julianne, so I'm happy for her. Her turn as Nancy Donovan in 30 Rock is one of my favourite guest spots in a sitcom of all time. OF ALL TIME.

2:59: Best Actor - Motion Picture, Drama. Let's go, Redmayne, bring it home.

3:00: YES! ANOTHER FOR ME! Congratulations Eddie, such an amazing portrayal of an incredible man.

3:01: Awww, he had to cut his honeymoon short to come to the Globes. I am now extra happy that he won!

3:02: OK, we're at the tail end now, people. Best Motion Picture, Drama. I picked The Theory Of Everything...

3:03: ...but Boyhood takes it home. A deserving winner though, and one 12 years in the making!

And we're done! Sad to see the end of Tina & Amy's reign as Golden Globe queens, I don't think anyone has done it as well as they have for a long time.

And in terms of my tips...well, I don't think I need to do the maths to work out that I royally sucked. Next time - doing my research. Thank God I didn't have money on this.

If you're still reading at this point, thanks for sticking with me! We'll meet back here for the Oscars!

Flashback Friday :: Christmas Eve Wrap Up

So - this stream of consciousness was intended to post on Christmas Eve...but as you'll see, Christmas Eve turned into Christmas morning, and I was falling into bed before I had a chance to hit Publish.

It's been sitting in my Draft folder since, and I had intended to just delete it - but I felt I should share my madness with the masses...

It is 1:42am on Christmas morning, and I think I'm losing my mind.

SO - I've decided to liveblog my descent into madness. It is sure to be THRILLING. Enjoy!

1:42: This event is sponsored by Jacobs Creek 2012 Cabernet Merlot. Ahhh, how I've missed my wine. Oh, and Cadbury's Hazelnut Chocolate. Wine + chocolate = a winning combination!

1:57: "Rosa's even wearing her formal leather jacket!" "The one without any blood on it." Brooklyn Nine-Nine is my new obsession. This boxset is keeping me going right now.

...This is the part where I clarify that there will probably be a lot of B99 quotes in this post.

2:01: SONOFABITCH I just remembered I forgot to put the baby's clothes on to wash. DAMNITALL.

Laundry break!

2:18: Aaaaand I'm back. God this is taking forever.

2:23: Finishing off my Xmas shopping yesterday has kicked. My. Arse. I swear, I haven't been so physically achy & exhausted since I gave birth. Apparently shopping pain is now comparable to the recovery pain of expelling a tiny human from one's body. This is so sad.

2:40: I've given myself a 5am deadline. God, please let me be done by then. WHY DID I BUY SO MANY PRESENTS. AND WHY ARE THEY ALL ODDLY SHAPED. Next year, new rule - only uniform square/rectangular boxes.

3:49: "I spent 40 minutes making that water bottle display! This guy's a psycho!"

3:55: "How many guns do I still have hidden? Do I still have my knife? Nunchuks? Axe? Do I still have my throwing stars? ...What kind of woman doesn't have an axe?" Rosa Diaz is my new personal hero.

4:47: "Oh, Canada. Truly, Odie to America's Garfield."

4:49: 11 minutes til I send myself to bed. Oh God, how is it almost 5 o'clock?!?

5:02: It is 2 minutes past 5 and I AM STILL WRAPPING PRESENTS WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

5:17: So much for my 5am cut off. I AM SO CLOSE, might as well see it through.

5:36: There is a US breakfast show on right now. Even the Americans are telling me it's time to go to bed.

6:04: OH SWEET MERCIFUL LORD I AM DONE. The sun is up, but I am done!

And now, I get to enjoy two and a half hours of glorious sleep, before I'm woken by a hungry infant. Merry Christmas!

Good times. In 2015, I resolve to start my gift wrapping BEFORE the 24th of December. Mama ain't pulling no all-nighters this year.

mamamedia liveblogs :: 2014 Big Brother Finale

WE ARE ATTEMPTING OUR FIRST LIVEBLOG, PEOPLE. Strap yourselves in. 

8:45: Oops, missed the beginning, too busy with ARIAs. 

8:49: Oh no, they're making them dance. That always ends well. 

* baby cried, missed a bit *

9:00: Recapping scandals with ex HMs, saw Cat & Lawson shoot each other a look. This should be good. 

9:04: No groundbreaking revelations there. Aish loves Trav, Jason's a fence sitter, and Cat won't admit that Lawson's best trick is Hide the Sausage. 

9:06: CONFLICTS. Katie & Lisa commentating; again, no real shockers. 

9:12: Recapping first 4 weeks - ahh, so many people. Money, kissing, kissing, strategy, dogs, strategy. 

9:16: These ex HM chats just show how little some of these people contributed to the narrative. "Marina! You can talk about....uhhh...Big Brother himself! Yeah that'll do." My bet is they'll have Dave & Priya discuss strategies. 

9:18: Sonia putting Lawson on the spot re: Cat. Good one Krugs. 

9:21: Oh Krugs is on fire - picking up on Jake & Lisa's relationship now. 

9:24: Leo votes for Travis to win, I really wish they'd shown us Skye's reaction to that. 

9:25: BB FINALE DRINKING GAME: Every time the camera turns to Skye and she fixes her hair, drink!

9:26: If you only watched the highlight package of her time in the house, Skye would seem like a lovely, sweet girl. Pity about the rest of the show. 

9:31: Recap of next 4 weeks. Clawson, Clawson, fight, tears, fight, evictions, Marina, tears. 

9:36: News update for the finalists. My favourite part of the finale!

9:37: Skye: "I don't watch the news!" Ryan: "You can hardly tell!" RYAN TO WIN. 

9:47: Recap weeks 9-10. Clawson, Travis, neighbors, sanctuary, Leo, tears, How To. 

9:56: Loved ones waiting at the door for the third place getter. Ryan's parents are adorable. 

 

9:58: Skye's sister is going to tell her she's put on weight. That's sibling love for you. 

10:07: It's time to go...SKYE!!! Finally, Australia's done the right thing. 

10:08: Ryan & Travis: last pair in, last pair out. A very fitting final two. 

10:14: Skye trips on the stairs into the auditorium - I've been waiting all season for someone to slip on that shiny floor. 

10:26: Big Brother tribute package - some of these HMs really can't deliver lines comfortably. Katie on the other hand, could make a really good weather girl. This definitely feels like a farewell to BB - for good. Worried that it's not coming back next year. 

10:28: Winner announcement imminent. As Trav would say - MASSIV. 

10:29: And the winner of Big Brother is...

10:30: ...RYAN!

* and at this point my daughter decided to soil her clothes & needed a bath. I returned to Trav's highlights package *

10:53: Ryan's out on stage now, and in shock by the looks of it. 

10:58: Highlights package done & dusted - a great HM all round in my opinion. 

11:00 "It's time to go...and have a baby!" We're out. 

All in all, I'm happy with how the season turned out. I would've liked for Dave to make it a bit further, but what can you do. 

And after all the speculation, it turns out that fears for the demise of BB may be premature - Sonia put out a casting call as the credits rolled. So we can do this all again next year!