So - this stream of consciousness was intended to post on Christmas Eve...but as you'll see, Christmas Eve turned into Christmas morning, and I was falling into bed before I had a chance to hit Publish.
It's been sitting in my Draft folder since, and I had intended to just delete it - but I felt I should share my madness with the masses...
It is 1:42am on Christmas morning, and I think I'm losing my mind.
SO - I've decided to liveblog my descent into madness. It is sure to be THRILLING. Enjoy!
1:42: This event is sponsored by Jacobs Creek 2012 Cabernet Merlot. Ahhh, how I've missed my wine. Oh, and Cadbury's Hazelnut Chocolate. Wine + chocolate = a winning combination!
1:57: "Rosa's even wearing her formal leather jacket!" "The one without any blood on it." Brooklyn Nine-Nine is my new obsession. This boxset is keeping me going right now.
...This is the part where I clarify that there will probably be a lot of B99 quotes in this post.
2:01: SONOFABITCH I just remembered I forgot to put the baby's clothes on to wash. DAMNITALL.
Laundry break!
2:18: Aaaaand I'm back. God this is taking forever.
2:23: Finishing off my Xmas shopping yesterday has kicked. My. Arse. I swear, I haven't been so physically achy & exhausted since I gave birth. Apparently shopping pain is now comparable to the recovery pain of expelling a tiny human from one's body. This is so sad.
2:40: I've given myself a 5am deadline. God, please let me be done by then. WHY DID I BUY SO MANY PRESENTS. AND WHY ARE THEY ALL ODDLY SHAPED. Next year, new rule - only uniform square/rectangular boxes.
3:49: "I spent 40 minutes making that water bottle display! This guy's a psycho!"
3:55: "How many guns do I still have hidden? Do I still have my knife? Nunchuks? Axe? Do I still have my throwing stars? ...What kind of woman doesn't have an axe?" Rosa Diaz is my new personal hero.
4:47: "Oh, Canada. Truly, Odie to America's Garfield."
4:49: 11 minutes til I send myself to bed. Oh God, how is it almost 5 o'clock?!?
5:02: It is 2 minutes past 5 and I AM STILL WRAPPING PRESENTS WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
5:17: So much for my 5am cut off. I AM SO CLOSE, might as well see it through.
5:36: There is a US breakfast show on right now. Even the Americans are telling me it's time to go to bed.
6:04: OH SWEET MERCIFUL LORD I AM DONE. The sun is up, but I am done!
And now, I get to enjoy two and a half hours of glorious sleep, before I'm woken by a hungry infant. Merry Christmas!
Good times. In 2015, I resolve to start my gift wrapping BEFORE the 24th of December. Mama ain't pulling no all-nighters this year.
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