12:00: AC/DC opening the show, they've still got it.
12:04: Dave Grohl & Lady Gaga spotted getting into it, always great to see the celebrities unafraid to dance along.
12:06: OHHH they're glowing devil horns in the crowd! I just assumed they were glow sticks. Nice!
12:08: First award of the night is Best New Talent, presented by Taylor Swift, in a gorgeous teal gown.
12:10: And the Grammy goes to...Sam Smith! As expected really, but I would've loved for HAIM to win.
12:16: Anna Kendrick in a smashing lady tux introducing Ariana Grande's performance. Full disclosure: I am not a fan of Miss Grande. I don't have much time for anyone who insists on being shot from one side at all times. By all accounts, she's not particularly pleasant to deal with. Anyway, this performance is one big bowl of 'meh'.
12:20: Jessie J & Tom Jones performing together next. Jessie's dress appears to consist of black cottontails and some spiderwebs.
12:23: Chrissy Teigen spotting! Love her hair, love her dress, love her chair dancing. Love love love.
12:24: And the Grammy for Best Pop Solo Performance goes to...Happy by Pharrell Williams!
12:25: ...what is Mrs Pharrell wearing? I'm not loving the formal jumpsuit.
12:27: "I'm gonna moonwalk off this stage right now." That's not moonwalking Pharrell, that's just regular walking.
12:32: Uh oh, we may be having issues with the feed here in Australia.
12:34: Never mind, we're back. Miranda Lambert now performing. Not being a country music fan, I have nothing to add here.
12:37: A Lifetime Achievement recognition goes to the Bee Gees. Whilst on stage, Barry is also presenting Best Pop Vocal Album.
12:38: And the Grammy goes to...Sam Smith! Again, expected.
12:44: "This man certainly believes in himself..." Understatement of the year when referring to Kanye.
12:46: "Why is he singing with auto-tune?" "BECAUSE HE'S AN ARTIST." - conversation that just took place between my husband and I.
12:49: Miley Cyrus & Nicki Minaj introducing the next performance by Madonna. This should be interesting.
12:51: This is...awkward. All of it. The dancers seem blinded by their masks and Madge looks like she hasn't actually had a chance to rehearse with them. Also, my breasts are hurting just looking at her leotard.
12:55: Best Rock Album presented by Josh Duhamel and...two of the Patriots. Could not tell you their names, alas. And the Grammy goes to...Morning Phase by Beck!
1:03: Best R&B Performance goes to...Beyonce for Drunk In Love. Another expected winner.
1:06: Ed Sheeran performing Thinking Out Loud with John Mayer, Questlove and...damn, missed the others. Sorry to the other musical guest/s!
1:12: SPOTTED: Nicole Kidman busting out some epic mom dance moves.
1:26: Hozier performing Take Me To Church with special guest Annie Lennox.
1:28: Take Me To Church has transitioned into I Put A Spell On You...and speaking of spells, what kind of witchcraft is Annie using? The woman is aging magnificently.
1:32: Meghan Trainor & Nick Jonas presenting Best Country Album. And the Grammy goes to...Platinum by Miranda Lambert.
1:35: A very theatrical reinterpretation if Happy by Pharrell. Dark.
1:44: A message from President Obama regarding the Its On Us campaign to end violence against women.
1:46: "Authentic love does not devalue another human being." A powerful speech by a domestic violence survivor.
1:58: Lady Gaga & Tony Bennett performing Cheek To Cheek. Proving that she doesn't need meat dresses or facial prosthetics to entertain, when she has as incredible a voice as she does.
2:45: OK, baby is asleep, and we're back for Kanye, Rihanna & Paul McCartney's performance. Such an odd combination, but it works!
2:53: Sam Smith & Mary J Blige performing Stay With Me, as introduced by Taylor Swift - a self professed fangirl of Smith.
3:00: The return of Prince & his cane! Here to present Album Of The Year. The Grammy goes to...Beck, for Morning Phase.
3:01: STAGE INVASION BY KANYE YES.
3:04: Sia performance introduced by Shia LaBeouf with some sort of rambling poetry. Eccentric as always.
3:10: Song Of The Year, presented by Enrique Iglesias. Hoping for a Sia win, for no other reason than sheer curiosity about how she would accept the award.
3:11: And the Grammy goes to...Sam Smith, again. Ahh well, good on him.
3:38: Baby woke up, had to take another break! Jamie Foxx & Stevie Wonder present Record Of The Year. To Sam Smith, again.
3:39: "I'd like to thank the man who I fell in love with last year, and who inspired this album. Thank you for breaking my heart, because now I've got 4 Grammys!" - Sam is the new Adele.
3:43: Gosh I hate applause in the In Memoriam segments. Please hold applause to the end people! It seems so insensitive that a songwriter or agent gets a polite smattering of applause, and a Robin Williams will receive whoops and cheers.
3:48: Hit fast forward through Beyonce's performance. Sorry Beyhive.
3:50: Ahh, Glory. Beautiful song, performed by beautiful men. Hoping for another Chrissy Teigen cry face cameo.
3:53: WAIT WAIT WAIT - What the hell happened to the feed?!? After John & Common finished, it cut to Sam & Mary J Blige's performance again and then the credits rolled? Is that it? WHAT?
4:00: OK, so it appears that Glory was the closing performance. If that was mentioned in the intro, then I missed it. My bad! Still, it was a jarring end to the telecast at our end at least.
So there you have it! Sam Smith easily the big winner tonight, as expected by most. A few surprises in there, and notably no gongs for Iggy Azalea...which I'm sure a few people are happy about.
In terms of the bajillion performances tonight, my favourite was easily Glory - the night definitely ended on a high. Simple and elegant, which is all you need when the song is so strong on its own. At the other end of the scale for me was Madonna. I still don't really know what that was, but I do know that I didn't like it. And unlike others, I'm not going to fawn all over it JUST because its Madonna. Hashtag sorry not sorry.
That was fun! Meet back here for the Oscars? DEAL.
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