We begin on Day 6 of the social experiment: time for the big move! The fun is truly about to begin...
Before Zoe arrives, Alex recruits his mother to help prepare his home for his new wife. Mum's tips include "maybe move your AV rig out of the dining room" and "don't keep your beers in the linen closet." Solid advice Ma.
As Lachlan leaves the farm with dog in tow, Clare is busy cleaning her one bedroom apartment. A one bedder hey? That could cause a few issues. Everyone needs their own corner to retreat to now & then, especially if you don't know each other particularly well. I will never understand how couples can live in a studio apartment and not kill each other. I love my husband but God knows we need our own space sometimes.James is moving into Michelle's apartment and she's setting the ground rules early...
Pretty simple, dude.
Roni appears to be packing her entire house - Tupperware and all - to move to Michael's. She's definitely settling in quickly, hanging photos, arranging throw pillows and scuffing around in her sparkly slippers. (SIDENOTE: I have those slippers in pink. They were a present from my mother-in-law when I was in hospital with Liv and they are SO COMFORTABLE.)
Zoe arrives to her new abode to find Alex's mancave, complete with motorbike. Just what every wife wants! Alarm bells are ringing early though, when Alex declares "I'm not too comfortable with Zoe coming in here and making too much of a mark on this house. I don't particularly want girly things all over the house. It's not going to happen." It's called compromise buddy. Get on board!
Zoe is THRILLED. Obviously.
Quote of the night goes to Zoe, who, after being presented with her heat 'n' eat dinner, said this: "I don't have an aversion to quick anything...*makes the following face*...well, there are a few things I have an aversion to being too quick..."
I think my recaps could consist solely of Zoe's many facial expressions...
Here we go! The first big blow up. It seems that Clare's schedule isn't entirely clear to spend the weekend away at Lachlan's farm and he's not impressed. BUT - she's not particularly happy about it either! And I quote: "You know what I really want to do? I really want to fuck everything off, I don't want to go to work, I want to spend time with you! I don't know what else to do, but I can guarantee you I feel bad about it." Aww. How can he be mad at that?
Well, as it turns out, it all blows over pretty quickly, as our newlyweds kiss and make up in front of a beautiful Clovelly sunrise. As Kevin Spacey famously said, "it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world." ...Of course, he had just been shot in the head, so...not exactly the same scenario...anyway, moving on!
It's her first morning waking up in Ferntree Gully and Zoe is learning the cold hard truth about commuting. Mainly, it sucks. In our pre-baby days, we lived and worked in the heart of Sydney's CBD and my office was a 15 minute walk away. You become very spoilt, very quickly. I can only imagine how she's feeling about having to now sit on a train for an hour. Blergh.
Our couples are now being faced with their hardest test so far: a shopping trip to IKEA. B HATES it when I drag him along to that glorious Swedish storage emporium. He drags his feet and whines like a 5 year old. PRO TIP: Much like children, you can bribe men with Swedish meatballs & $1 hotdogs. Michael definitely seems like he's done for the day...
"I wonder if Roni will notice if I sneak off to the cafeteria..."
According to psychologist Sabina, building furniture together is like any other team activity: it brings out the dynamics that will be seen moving forward in the relationship. Well, I don't know what this says about my marriage, but furniture building isn't much of a team activity in our household: I am the Queen of flat-pack assembly, B just carries in the boxes and lets me at it. And as someone who grew up having to assemble his mother's IKEA purchases, that's just the way he likes it. Everybody wins!
James seems to be committing a cardinal sin: ignoring the instructions. Unsurprisingly, he then drills holes in the wrong spot. Rookie. Never ignore the instructions dude. He's just lucky Michelle is the kind of gal who seems unfazed by these sorts of shenanigans...I am not one of those gals.
Over at Michael's, he and Roni are enjoying a quiet, no-TV-allowed dinner on the couch. Possibly their most awkward interaction to date - these two definitely seem more fizzle than sizzle right now.
CAN YOU FEEL THE HEAT.
Uh-oh, Clare & Lachlan are at it again. Once again, Clare is only willing to visit the farm for one night, rather than the whole weekend, and Lachlan's patience is wearing thin. Her offer to take him to boxing on Saturday does not go over well and before we know it, tempers flare, voices are raised and Clare storms out.
The following morning, Lachlan is regretting his part in the fight and is sending flowers to Clare's office as a mea culpa. He seems to be thinking the same as all of us at home who watched the Great Flower Meltdown on their wedding day, namely: Holy shit I better pick the right flowers or else I am DEAD.
Meanwhile, in Melbourne, Zoe is catching up with best friend Sherri. Sherri epitomises that most essential of friendships: the Get A Grip friend. We all have one: the person who slaps us upside the head and tells it like it is. In short, I love Sherri and think she should be in every episode. Just sitting in the corner, tearing apart everybody's bullshit. Anyway, Zoe voices her concerns regarding the "lifestyle change" she would be making by moving to Alex's house in the 'burbs, and also in regards to their differing backgrounds. She begins to explain how he left school in tenth grade and Sherri shuts that shit down QUICK SMART. When Zoe realises she might be sounding like a bitch, Sherri replies with a succint "You are." I LOVE THIS WOMAN.
#TeamSherri
Back in Clovelly and Clare is arriving home with apology flowers in tow. They seem to have worked a treat, as L & C are now getting their pash on in the kitchen. But, I mean, if this was delivered to your office, how could you not?
HOW COULD YOU STAY MAD AT HIM??
Zoe & Alex have arrived home and are cooking dinner together, when Alex asks if it's going to be a problem for them to blend their lives. Zoe responds with some gibberish about how it'll be a problem for her if he doesn't know Mandela's life story (...okay...) and that she assumes he'd feel the same if she didn't know stuff about engines, or whatever. Alex is, understandably, a bit miffed that she has simplified his life down to "engines and cars and stuff" and isn't making an effort to actually learn anything about him. When asked to explain what he is to her, Zoe replies "you have all the qualities that I want." To which Alex responds, "...you serious? That's it?" When she attempts to explain herself, he cuts her off with an exasperated "I don't think I want to hear it." As he confesses to camera afterwards, his opinion is that Zoe is committing to the experiment, rather than to him. Uh oh. And it was all going so well...
Alex doesn't know whether to laugh or cry, so he just made this face...
Clare has finally made it out to Lachlan's farm, albeit only for one night. But look how cute! Clare confides that "I feel like I'm part of something. I feel like I am somebody to someone, and I haven't felt like that in a long time." I REALLY WANT THESE TWO TO WORK, YOU GUYS.
After a talking to from her mum, Michelle has decided to sit down with James and find out how he's really feeling, since apparently all he's offering up in the way of adjectives is "good" and "nice". To quote Rachel Greene from Friends: "Nice? Mittens are nice!" James assures her that he is simply being cautious, as he likes her and doesn't want to mess things up. In his words, "I'm not here because I have to be. I'm here because I want to be." Can't complain there, Mish.
We now meet another Get A Grip pal, in the guise of Rachel, Roni's best friend. Roni is concerned that she isn't feeling any chemistry with Michael and that they are becoming more like housemates than partners. She also admits that she is holding back on acting like herself, because she's convinced that will result in this marriage failing just like her first did. Methinks someone needs to stop projecting her issues onto poor Mikey. Give him a chance Ron! Rachel agrees, telling Roni that "being you does not mean that you're going to get the same." Good advice Rach. Not as good as Sherri, but still.
#TeamSherri.
NEXT WEEK: The 4 couples all meet each other for the first time and it seems that personalities (read: Roni & Zoe) will clash. Should make for interesting viewing - meet back here next week!
Married At First Sight airs 8:40 Monday night on Channel Nine
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