:: We open with Gamble and Wolf Pup shopping for six figure diamonds, y'know, as you do. I had to laugh at the expression on the jeweller's face when Gamble was rattling off her & Rick's past marriages. Also, are there actually non-television jewellers out there happy to send you home with diamonds to test drive?
"How in the everloving fuck did I end up with these two..."
:: As much as I love their mother-daughter shenanigans, something odd jumped out at me during Chyka and Chessie's shopping jaunt: As they discusses their purchases, Chessie said a few things that made it sound as though Bruce was picking up the tab...I would think such a fabulous working woman as Cheeks would have her own card to flash around town? Hmm. Curiouser and curiouser...I mean, if you're a weirdo nitpicker like me who notices these things...
:: Ahh, women. The things we put ourselves through in the name of beauty. My aunt likes to say "Beauty knows no pain." Well, beauty might not but Jackie sure did. PRO TIP: Race days are LOOONG days. If your neck is aching before you've even arrived, you've made a poor millinery choice.
:: Noticed this guy in the background. Dude. YOU ARE IN A MARQUEE. Wherefore art thou suit? Seriously, he doesn't appear to be working the event: How dafuq did he get into a marquee on Derby Day in a T-shirt?!? WE'VE GOT A BROKEN ARROW PEOPLE NO ONE IS MANNING THE GATES.
:: "Do you realise that Botox is actually paralysing the muscles?" - OH MY GOD PETTIFLEUR NO FREAKING WAY THAT IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION /sarcasm.
:: "On the third level there is this amazing rooftop garden designed by Jamie Durie - and you can even see the horses from there!" - That's good Janet, it is nice to be able to see the horses AT THE FUCKING RACES.
:: I would love to think that the launch of
:: I had to laugh when Lydia admitted to not reading the book, as she "didn't have the time" for it. Sweet Lydia, it's 190 pages long. The issue of Vanity Fair I'm reading at the moment has more pages. Although...are we sure that Lydia can read?
:: By the way, if you're after an evil afternoon of schadenfreude, do yourself a favour and take a look at the Amazon reviews for Switch The Bitch. It's...every bit as amazing as you expect! (read: people are asking for their money back.)
:: There truly is no love like that between a son and his stepmother...
:: And here is where I white knight for Gamble re: her aversion to strippers. Not all women enjoy having a strange man's torso thrust in their face, no matter how ripped he may be. I have no problems with strippers - in my pre-baby days, I visited plenty of strip clubs with B and our mates and have received lap dances from female performers - but I would probably behave the same as Gamble with a male stripper. If I wanted greased up pecs all up in my grill, I'd be home with my husband and a bottle of Crisco.
:: I love that Chyka of all people is the one to gift Gamble a box of sex toys. Nice one, Keebaugh. I did enjoy watching these middle aged women trying to figure out the egg. If any of you are still curious: it's a male masturbator. Honey Birdette has a range if that sort of thing floats your boat! Once when I was in store, I had a (female, calm down) staff member demonstrate the egg for me, they are...interesting.
NEXT TIME: We finish the season on a high note, and by high, I mean that Pettifleur's 50th celebrations look completely cracked out.
Catch up on previous Season 2 recaps here...
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9
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