Never Forget.

Since I've had a baby, my memory is shot. I say things and 5 minutes later I forget saying them. I walk into a room and can't remember why I'm there. I open Google and then immediately forget what I wanted to search for (this may be the most frustrating one of all...) But there is a grey Wednesday morning that is seared into my memory for all time.

When I awoke on the morning of September the 12th, 2001, I remember hearing the TV and thinking, "that's strange, we're never allowed to have the TV on when we're getting ready for school." Even stranger was hearing my Dad's voice drifting up from the lounge. Normally, my father would have already left for work by the time I woke up. Next thing I knew Mum was dragging me out of bed, saying that something had happened in New York and I needed to see.

 

I remember staring at the gaping holes in the Twin Towers - buildings that, up until that morning, I had never heard of before. I remember being sleepy and confused, wondering what this Pentagon thing was that they kept talking about, if it was the name of one of the Towers. I remember the rumbling roar of the collapse, and the tidal wave of dust and debris that rolled through lower Manhattan. I remember being terrified.

 

Fourteen years later, and while I have a far greater understanding and appreciation of the events of 9/11, sometimes it still feels like I'm that 12 year old girl, sleep still in her eyes, standing in front of the TV while her dad swore and her mum cried.

I don't know if I'll ever truly grasp what happened that awful day - it still doesn't seem real - but I know that I will never forget. I'll never forget praying for the victims in my Religion class, hoping that they would come home safely to their families. I'll never forget overhearing a conversation between two teachers, discussing the supposed shortage of body bags in New York. I'll never forget my younger brother and sister - only 7 and 5 at the time - asking me, weeks after the attack, why there were still no kids shows on TV, why every channel was still showing these tall buildings on fire. I'll never forget the pain, the fear, the grief.

But I will also never forget witnessing the best of humanity on display. Strangers comforting each other on the street. Men and women, caked in ghostly white dust, walking back into the pile of twisted steel to search for survivors through the night. Even an act as simple as passing around a cell phone so that people could reassure their families that they were OK. As much as 9/11 opened my eyes to the evil that exists in the world, it also reassured me that there are always people willing to help their fellow man. I learnt that the only way to drive away the darkness is with love and light.
 

My thoughts and prayers are with the loved ones of the 2,977 people who never came home that day. They live on in the hearts and minds of millions.

 

I would also like to make special mention of the men and women who gave their lives trying to save others in the Towers. When others were running out, you ran in. We thank and honour you for your sacrifice.

EVERYBODY BE COOL :: In Defence of Kim Kardashian West

I recognise that this may be an unpopular opinion, but this has been eating away at me for a while so I'm finally saying something. BRACE YOURSELVES.

Last week, the MTV Video Music Awards were held in Los Angeles. In attendance to receive the Video Vanguard award for lifetime achievement was rapper Kanye West, accompanied by pregnant wife Kim Kardashian.

Kanye wore his slouchiest best, paired with Yeezy Boost 350's (in a new colourway!!! ...people lose their damn minds over these shoes) while Kim wore a bespoke lace up gown designed by Olivier Rousteing of Balmain. Personally, I thought Kim looked beautiful: love her or hate her, you have to admit the woman has some damn good genes. Plus, she's pregnant, and I think every pregnant woman is gorgeous.

But apparently, I am in the minority.

Here is just a sampling of some of the delightful comments that have been floating around since the ceremony:

OK. I'll be blunt: If you are making fun of a pregnant woman's body - REGARDLESS of who the woman is - you are being an enormous tool.

I understand the Kardashian family inspires strong reactions in people; B was not impressed when my younger sister asked for the DVD sets for Christmas: "We have to spend our money on Kardashians?!" I get it. I tend to fall on the side of "tolerating" them: I'm not going to pretend that there aren't better role models out there for my daughter, but I also don't think they are the four horsewomen of the apocalypse.

I also know that Kim's fashion choices aren't always everybody's cup of tea; her style has become far more, shall we say, "experimental" since she began her relationship with Kanye. It only takes a cursory glance at the Kim Kardashian tag on Go Fug Yourself to realise that the woman wears A LOT of stuff that people tend not to like. And never more than when she's pregnant, it seems. Cast your mind back to the Met Gala of 2013, and the Givenchy dress that launched a thousand memes...

 

...I mean...Yeah. That wasn't cool either. A woman has zero control over how her body carries a pregnancy, so you're ridiculing her for something that she can't change, even if she wanted to. It's not like she can just diet that belly away! It also has to be said that Kim is quite small: she's only 5'3" so a pregnant belly has the potential to overwhelm her figure more than it might on a taller woman.

"But Jess, why then would she choose to wear such unflattering clothing?" Well here's the thing: Pregnancy does not suddenly negate your right to wear what you like. A SHOCKING CONCEPT I KNOW. And when your body is changing in ways it never has before, when you feel exhausted and uncomfortable, the clothes you wear can feel like one last little thing in your life that you still have control over. As I was pregnant over an Australian summer, where I could barely handle the feeling of fabric on my skin, I spent A LOT of time in bikinis. When I actually had to leave the house though, my wardrobe choices were often flowing and/or elasticated. Comfort all the way!

Conversely, you also have women like a friend of mine who kept her pre-pregnancy wardrobe - 5 inch stilettos included - in rotation well into her third trimester. It was only once her seams literally split that she relented and bought some maternity gear. And that's OK too - at the end of the day, it's whatever you feel comfortable in. If you feel good in caftans? Awesome! If you would rather rock a more tailored maternity wardrobe? Sweet! And if anyone tries to tell you something isn't "appropriate" or "flattering," then fuck that noise. YOU DO YOU, BABES.

(Another point I'd like to add quickly: Your body can change SO quickly during pregnancy, so there is always a chance that in the time between Kim's final fitting and the VMA's, her shape changed and affected the fit of the dress. I can vouch for this happening, after putting off buying a dress until the last minute for an event when I was around 5 months pregnant, then finding it fit differently only days later. Super annoying.)

Anyway, at the end of the day, Kim is just another pregnant woman, who is probably uncomfortable, exhausted, and incredibly sensitive about her appearance. And when you consider the awful jokes made at her expense during her first pregnancy - a pregnancy in which she suffered preeclampsia resulting in an early delivery and was apparently such a terrible time for her that she was unsure if she could endure it again - I can only imagine how she must feel seeing these kinds of comments being made once more.

Play the ball, not the player. If you hate Kim's Balmain dress? Then say you hate the dress. That's cool. Fashion is art is subjective, after all. But if you're cracking jokes about her body?

You're just being a dick.

mamamedia recaps :: Episode 8 of The Bachelor Australia

Emily trains her bitchface on a new target, and the news of the group date pash is out. LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS, NINA.

"This has been a fascinating ride so far. I'm halfway through what truly is a wonderful adventure. I guess the trick now is to try and have the foresight, in the short dates that I have, to see which girls are not just great in bursts, but a woman I can spend the rest of my life with." And you know he's serious, just look how pensive he is on this random farm! Seriously, they're in Hunters Hill, where would this farm be?!

It's a new morning at Bach Manor and the girls are chilling in the kitchen, hopeful for a date. I can only imagine how mindnumbing it becomes in that house. No wonder some of these girls (allegedly) spend all of their time in the gym. Conveniently, as always, Osher then enters with the golden envelope, inviting Rachel, Heather, Bec, Emily, and Nina on a group date where "the race is on." After Nina's name is read out, Emily comments "the more I've gotten to know Nina, she's very fake. So on the group date, I'll just stick with the girls I'm close with." And with that, we are introduced to the new target in Emily's crosshairs: Heather is out, Nina is totes in.

And so, off on their date they go! As the Nissan PARKS ITSELF! (can we have our money now?) Emily remarks that "I don't know much about Nina. I know that she isn't someone I would be friends with." Which is a very interesting judgement to make about someone you proclaim to not know very well, dear Emily...

The girls arrive at Ultimate Karting Sydney where they find Osher & Sam zipping around the track. No helmet hair here though!

Fresh to death.

After Osher announes the girls will be competing in the "inaugural Bachelor Grand Prix," Nina can barely contain her excitement, explaining how she used to race Japanese imports and drift cars (I have to say, this was a bit of a revelation for me, I did not see that coming from a wedding planner. Never judge a book by its cover, Jessica!) This then sets up Emily's next dig: "I just don't see anything with Nina and Sam. I just don't think he would be really attracted to her. She's a bit...crass."

Crass Nina and the rest of the girls then get kitted up for the big race:

 I just wish this shot had been in slo-mo...

And after Emily makes one last snipe, hoping Nina "chokes," they're off! Let this be a testament to the competitive spirit: no matter how much of a princess Emily may be, her desire to WIN - and particularly to BEAT THAT CRASS BITCH NINA - has overtaken every other instinct. I have to say, if this is her first time go-karting, she's a natural at picking the racing lines. You may have found your calling, Em!

Meanwhile, Heather was just being her usual awesome self, burning rubber and whatnot.

#TeamHeather

At the end of the race, Emily easily takes the win, pulling into the pit lane after the chequered flag falls. Nina fails to see this though, and having assumed that she had overtaken Emily early on, celebrates a little prematurely...

...Awkward.

This is then followed by the awesome realisation once Osher announces that Emily has won by over 7 seconds...

"...Shit."

Emily then gets to claim her prize, which is some alone time with Sam. After he asks her if she had fun, she answers that "I'm just so happy I beat Nina!" To which Sam responds "I'm still trying to work out how I feel about Emily. I'm not sure whether Emily's here to find love, or if it's just about winning." OOOOH. Emily probably doesn't help her case much when she tells Sam that she thinks Nina would be off "licking her wounds" and that she doesn't really connect with her. Yeahhh, considering Sam has said that he really likes Nina, I don't know if that went over too well...

ALARM BELLS ARE SOUNDING IN SAM'S HEAD RIIIIGHT ABOUT NOW.

Back at the manse and the group daters are regaling the other girls with the tale of Nina's premature celebrations. And then in walks Nina. Awkies. But it's all glossed over quickly enough as in her hot little hands she carries a golden envelope, containing a single date invitation for Snezana to live "la dolce vita," which Emily & Nina announce means "the beautiful life!" I can just picture my best friend, who is Italian, throwing things at the TV at this point, because it's actually 'the sweet life'; beautiful is 'bellissimo.' And so completes today's rudimentary Italian lesson! You're welcome, universe.

Sam (who does know the meaning of la dolce vita, well done sir) and Snez then sail across the harbour in a vintage speedboat and arrive at Cockatoo Island (at least I'm 99% sure it's Cockatoo...) for their own private little Italy, complete with personalised pizzas, gratuitous shots of the cheese sponsor, and flour fights.

Oh, just stop it with the cuteness already.

Back at Back Manor, the girls are sitting around discussing whether they think Snez will return with a rose. After Bec says how obvious it is that Sam is attracted to Snez, Nina adds "like with the pash at the group date!" Which catches everybody off guard, seeing as the only people who Snezana had told about the kiss were Nina & Bec. WAY TO GO NEENS. Emily then weighs in, saying "Nina is as two-faced as they come...Nina can say some things that can come across as quite catty and nasty. I just don't trust Nina. I don't trust her at all." God, I would LOVE to know what's gone down between these two when the cameras haven't been rolling. You know there's a good story there.

Meanwhile, blissfully unaware that her beans have been spilled, Snezana continues to enjoy her little slice of Italy with Sam. Having discovered that Snez is apparently a huge Star Wars fan, Sam has commissioned a "Death Star" inspired dessert from Gelato Messina (Sydneysiders, if you haven't yet sampled their wares, I highly recommend you hightail it there, quick smart. I once hiked up the steep streets of Darlinghurst in six inch stilettos for a late night gelato. TOTALLY WORTH IT HASHTAG NO REGRETS.) Snezana is so into her dessert that when Sam pulls out a rose from under the lounge, she stops to shovel the last spoonful in her mouth before accepting. That's my kind of woman.

Cocktail hour! And boy, is there plenty of Emily material to go 'round! After Nina frets about Snezana's reaction when she owns up to spilling about the pash, Emily tells us "Nina is not genuine, she says what people want to hear." Soon after, Snez returns from her date and Bec & Em are sitting in the next room, frustrated that other girls are faking excitement, with Em saying "if there's one personality trait that I hate the most, it's people that are two-faced. And that's what I think [Nina] is."

As always, Sam & Heather are adorable and I just want them to hurry up & get together, because if anyone else wins Sam's love, I'm going to burn this mother down I'm going to be very cranky indeed.

Including this moment for no other reason than Heather is adorable.

Rose ceremony time! And YAY Heather is called first! ...Look, I'm sure the order means nothing, other than what will play best on TV of course, but it must feel good to be the first girl called.

Ooh, another dig at Nina from our favourite bitchface princess: "I just don't see anything with Nina and Sam. I just don't think he would be really attracted to her. She's a bit rough around the edges." Of course, Nina is next to receive a rose. And oh, if looks could kill...

"This guy, I swear, picking rough-around-the-edges, secret-spilling crass bitches before me, why I oughta..."

In the end, we are left with Bec and Nanna Rachel. Seeing as she's had a total of 5 minutes screentime all season, it's no surprise that Rachel is the unlucky lady leaving us tonight.

"Wait, where did she come from?" - My husband slash most of the viewing public.

NEXT TIME: Oh, we have SO much to look forward to. Another girl (all signs point to Bec) gets the heave-ho prior to the rose ceremony! New girls crash the party! More bitchface than you can poke a stick at! And - the rumours were true - an epic tantrum from Emily that sees her walk out.

The Bachelor Australia airs Wednesday & Thursday nights from 7:30pm on Channel Ten. Missed an episode? Catch up here:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7

Welcome to the Wine Bar 04.09.2015

I once told someone that Karen Walker is my spirit animal...I stand by that statement.

Another week, done & dusted. Another week where I think about my to-do list and realise I really didn't check off as many items as I had planned...and then I shrug, sip my wine, and say THAT'S NEXT WEEK ME'S PROBLEM.

To be honest babes, it was a pretty "meh" week. I've been a bit blue...for no particular reason, really, which is frustrating B to no end, because he much prefers to have something to "solve" and there's no problem that needs fixing, I just felt like shit!

We at least had a beautiful day trip up to the Northern Beaches last weekend, which gave me something to smile about as I flicked through our photos. Liv still doesn't seem to know what to make of this whole "sand" business...to which I say, "You're a Sydney girl sweetheart. You better get used to sand." Although, I guess I could go all inner city hipster mama with it..."Beach? Pshaw. My baby prefers to spend her summers in underground jazz bars you've never heard of. We might be Vitamin D deficient but we have a great appreciation of Coltrane." Anyway. We'll see.

I can draw two conclusions from my photos:
1. I photograph a lot of bridges. SYDNEY HAS SOME GREAT BRIDGES OKAY SORRYNOTSORRY.
2. My daughter is just the cutest. Case closed.

One thing I DID manage to do this week is set up Disqus on the blog, so it should (fingers crossed at least) be easier for you to comment now - I know the Blogger set up can be a bitch for comments.

So, how was your week? Cheerier than mine, I hope? If not, I feel you. In the immortal words of Jack McFarland (jeez, this is a Will & Grace heavy post) I've got eyes to see, ears to listen, and a head to nod knowingly.

Go ahead caller, you're on the air.





mamamedia recaps :: Episode 7 of The Bachelor Australia

Someone kisses, but will they tell?

We open to the remaining 8 bachelorettes sitting ever so casually around the lounge, lamenting the departure of Awesome Jacinda. You & me both ladies. You & me both.

No time for sadness though, as Osher strolls in with the coveted golden envelope, which he assures the girls does not contain any funny business like last episode. Ebru seems doubtful, Emily...well, Emily seems more interested in her tea, which I can absolutely respect (she types, as she picks up her teacup...)

All the girls seem pretty adamant that it will be Emily who will be "treasuring time together" with Sam...and they're spot on. After she fails to react as effusively as some of the other girls would have expected, they begin to question whether she's actually that excited about her time with Sam. I can't really judge her here though, because if it were me, I'd probably have this very expression on my face whilst thinking "Oh God. I hope we're not skydiving. Wait, did the invite say treasure? That probably won't mean skydiving, right? What am I going to wear? Is that food in my teeth? Holy crap this is a good cup of tea."

 

As Emily sails off to meet her possible prince, she tells us "I'm here to have a great experience today. I've been single now for about six months or so, I'm not overly happy about it. I think that I can be a bit of a princess sometimes and I think it's more that I'm high maintenance within myself." Nothing wrong with having high standards girls! It might not be for every guy, sure, but to hell with them! There are some men that enjoy, in the words of Chandler Bing, "maintaining you."

Back at the Manor, Heather & Nina wonder how Emily's date will go. After they guess that it will involve a treasure hunt, Nina snarks "I don't know how she'd go actually having to do the shovelling. I think she'd be more than happy to supervise." Well. Me-ow. Nina then infoms us that the side of Emily they see in the house is one that is very princess-like and particular, to which I say...don't worry Neens, she's not exactly hiding it in front of the cameras.

Back to the beach, and the date does indeed involve a treasure hunt that requires Emily to jump on a paddle board to find a clue. Here I am, hoping for some elaborate Survivor-esque adventure, with diving and climbing...nope, just paddle over to that buoy and yank on the rope to pull up the clue, then look in some rocks, then back to the beach. Oh look, there's a GIANT X on the sand. You're done! After digging up a chest, Emily discovers her treasure is a $10,000 tennis bracelet...not bad for a day's work! Oops, I mean, what a touching gesture!

"Did you get a nice clear shot of the sponsor? Yes? So I can stop holding this box in such a contrived manner? Sweet."

We cut back to Bach Manor to see Snez reveal a golden envelope inviting the ladies on a group date where, for the first time this season, all seven remaining girls will be going on the group date, meaning poor Emily will be rattling around the manse on her lonesome for the day. According to the invite they will be "living the simple life," which raises some red flags amongst some of the ladies. Apparently, Jasmin doesn't like "animals touching her, or dirt, or smell, or not being able to wear heels" so she's obviously going to L-O-V-E this date if it happens to be anywhere rural. Jasmin confirms this, saying "I don't really like to go and milk cows, or round up sheep, or pick up poo..." Can I just say: Jasmin, sweetie, you won't be picking up poo. It's a farm, not a litter box.

Returning to the beach, and Sam & Em are getting down to some real talk. Emily confesses that she always thought she'd be married by 28 with a baby by 30, saying "I didn't comprehend that that couldn't happen." Both Sam and Emily seem to be the lone singles amongst their groups of married friends with babies, and as they talk and laugh, all I can think is that it's really nice to see some real sense of vulnerability from Emily.

P.S. Hey Emily: You should do the messy hair thing more often. It totally works.

Group date time! The girls jump in the Nissans, with their INBUILT GPS and their GIANT SUNROOFS and their BLATANT PRODUCT PLACEMENT, to head off to the Australiana Pioneer Village in Wilberforce. Once there, they meet up with Sam and Osher, who informs them that, as Sam's a bit of a country boy at heart, they'll be experiencing simpler pleasures, enjoying some fun & games - including farm chores! - and ending with a barn dance in the shearing shed. How cute.

Their first exciting activity is apple bobbing. I'm surprised that the girls don't seem to have heard of this before? Hmm. Anyway, first up is Sarah vs Jasmin. Jas lets it be known early on that she has no interest in dunking her face in a bucket of water, and Sarah takes the win. Next sees Heather easily beat Rachel. Bec wins over Snezana, who struggles to actually get her head in the bucket on account of her ample chest. Nina takes on Ebru and comes up against the same struggle as Snez...her way around it though is to just tip the bucket over herself and grab an apple on its way out. Ebru isn't too impressed at what appears to be a deliberate wet t-shirt manuever, but you can't argue with results!

On to the semi-finals and Bec bests Sarah, receiving the least sincere "good on her" that the world has ever seen. Up next is Nina vs Heather, who notes that "in her last round, she just tipped the bucket over herself, grabbed an apple and came out on top! So I was like, if I'm going to do this, I'm gonna have to be really stealth, like a puma - in & out." And stealth she is, snatching the apple up in seconds: "I actually ripped it out and spat it out like some kind of triumphant bear catching a salmon, I was like, I GOT ONE!"

"VICTORY IS MINE"

And so the final is Heather vs Bec. It's truly a blink & you'll miss it match-up though, as Heather is in the water for all of 2 seconds before she emerges with the apple. Heather then declares "I'm the King of Bobbing..."

"...sounds dirty."

As a reward for her exemplary bobbing skills (teehee, it does sound dirty) Sam pulls her away for some alone time. Adorably, when Heather says she had no idea she was competing for time with him, he tells her "maybe that wasn't the prize but when you won I just decided to make it the prize." Oh he's smooth. #TEAMSAMTHER. ...yeah, that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it? Hmm. That's gonna need some work.

After Heather & Sam return with their homemade lemonade, he informs the girls that their next super-fun activity will be...sheep shearing! As you can imagine, Jasmin is THRILLED.

And oh, what a miserable time Jasmin has having to touch the FILTHY DISGUSTING SHEEP. I'm wondering if she's had some sort of traumatic farm incident as a child, because sheep really aren't that awful. Having attended an agricultural school and thus spent a considerable amount of time around farm animals, I can vouch for them being perfectly adorable (if a bit dim) creatures! They're not particularly dirty; the greasy feeling that Jasmin would be mistaking for dirt is just lanolin. The way I look at it: if you're happy to spend money on the clothes and the cosmetics made from their fleece...well, touching the live thing ain't all that different. But that's just me, I get that some people are a bit funny around large animals. Each to their own, different strokes, et cetera.

After the sheep shearing is finished, Sam and the girls retreat to the shed for a barn dance. Everybody's in high spirits, riiiight up until Sam pulls Heather outside for some fresh air. Ruh-roh. TO HELL WITH YOU GUYS. #TEAMSAMTHER. This move takes Heather by surprise as well, having accepted that she probably wouldn't get any more one on one time after their lemonade session earlier. They're really cute, guys. Heather has a habit of thanking Sam for talking to her and he finally calls her on it, saying "You don't have to say that, it's crazy to say that. Because when you say that it sounds like talking to you is a chore. It's not a chore, it's an absolute pleasure." After she shares that she's spent her whole life feeling like she's always in the way, Sam responds "You're a pretty amazing girl and I've only scratched the surface, you shouldn't be saying or thinking things like that...I don't say it to be amazing, I say it because it's what I think." It's obviously a deeply ingrained habit though, since seconds later she thanks him again.

"WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?!"

Sam then takes Sarah aside for a catchup. She admits that "I wasn't sure if it was the wine or it was Sam that I got really flustered over, but I think it was just a combination of them both." Yeah...I definitely think the wine has something to do with it, dear Sarah. I can't exactly put my finger on what it is that gives it away though...the giggles, the repetitive compliments ("you're OK" "YOU'RE OK!!") the rosy flush across your cheeks & decolletage...Or just a combination of them all, perhaps?

After he returns from his time with Sarah, Sam decides to pull Snezana away for a chat. Jasmin is LOVING IT:

I can only imagine the shit that would be hitting the proverbial fan if she got word of THIS little bit of mischief...

BUT WHAT OF THE GIRL CODE?!?

Rose ceremony time! That's right, no cocktail party tonight, we get straight into it. You know the drill by now: Heather gets a rose, and Emily makes a face:

In the end, we're left with Nina and Jasmin. In another completely predictable ending, Sam picks Nina, solidifying the message that, if you want to win the heart of Sammy Boy here, you best leave your tiaras at the door. No princesses allowed.

As she departs, Jasmin assures us that "I haven't given up on love" ...which is good to know, seeing as she is TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD. Hurry up girl, you're running out of time! You better not give up!!

NEXT TIME: "The competition revs up" as the girls take to the go-kart track, the groundwork is laid for the EMILY V NINA rivalry, and Nina spills the beans on the group date pash. NICE ONE NINA.

The Bachelor Australia airs Wednesday and Thursday nights from 7:30pm on Channel Ten. Missed an episode? Catch up here:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6

mamamedia predicts :: The 2015 MTV Video Music Awards

Oh yeah, we're doing this. Hope you've got your bookie on standby!

Break out the popcorn, because it's nearly time for the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards, hosted by Miley Cyrus. I can only imagine the shenanigans she has planned for us. Twerking? Nipples? Fire? Farm animals? WHO CAN SAY.

While you contemplate that, let's take a look at the nominees!

VIDEO OF THE YEAR

Beyonce - 7/11
Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud
Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar - Bad Blood
Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars - Uptown Funk
Kendrick Lamar - Alright

mama's pick :: I would be verrry surprised to see anyone but Taylor walk away with this one.

BEST MALE VIDEO

Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud
Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars - Uptown Funk
Kendrick Lamar - Alright
The Weeknd - Earned It
Nick Jonas - Chains

mama's pick :: Hmm. I do like Uptown Funk, but I think Ed or Kendrick will take this one out. I refuse to acknowledge the possibility that 50 Shades might influence the votes for Earned It. Ugh.

BEST FEMALE VIDEO

Beyonce - 7/11
Taylor Swift - Blank Space
Nicki Minaj - Anaconda
Sia - Elastic Heart
Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do

mama's pick :: I think Taylor will take this one out as well (much to Nicki's displeasure...) but I think Sia deserves an award purely for making Shia LaBeouf appear attractive whilst dancing in a cage in flesh-coloured underwear. Bravo.

BEST HIP HOP VIDEO

Fetty Wap - Trap Queen
Nicki Minaj - Anaconda
Kendrick Lamar - Alright
Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth - See You Again
Big Sean ft. E-40 - I Don't F**k With You

mama's pick :: Nicki definitely got a lot of attention for her VMA nominations after her dig at Taylor Swift, but I'm not sure whether that will work for or against her with the voters. Either way, I think Kendrick's video is more deserving of the award than Anaconda.

BEST POP VIDEO

Beyonce - 7/11
Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud
Taylor Swift - Blank Space
Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars - Uptown Funk
Maroon 5 - Sugar

mama's pick :: Once again, Taylor has got to be a lock, surely? As an aside, whilst I don't think they'll win, I can't help but smile whenever I see the Sugar video. I JUST LOVE LOVE OKAY.

BEST ROCK VIDEO

Hozier - Take Me To Church
Fall Out Boy - Uma Thurman
Florence + The Machine - Ship To Wreck
Walk The Moon - Shut Up And Dance
Arctic Monkeys - Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?

mama's pick :: Who do I think will win? Hozier. Who would I like to win? Arctic Monkeys all the way! AM was a perfect album from start to finish.

ARTIST TO WATCH

Fetty Wap - Trap Queen
Vance Joy - Riptide
George Ezra - Budapest
James Bay - Hold Back The River
FKA twigs - Pendulum

mama's pick :: Yay Vance! No question, I have to back my fellow Aussie here.

BEST COLLABORATION

Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar - Bad Blood
Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars - Uptown Funk
Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth - See You Again
Ariana Grande & The Weeknd - Love Me Harder
Jessie J + Ariana Grande + Nicki Minaj - Bang Bang

mama's pick :: Do we think anyone really has a chance against Bad Blood, the ultimate in #SquadGoals? Really?

VIDEO WITH A SOCIAL MESSAGE

Jennifer Hudson - I Still Love You
Colbie Caillat - Try
Big Sean ft. Kanye West & John Legend - One Man Can Change The World
Rihanna - American Oxygen
Wale - The White Shoes

mama's pick :: Look at you MTV, being all socially responsible 'n' shit. Taking a look at past winners, gay rights and body image are the big winners in this category - both very pressing issues within the voting demographic - so my money would be on I Still Love You or Try.

So, who would get your vote? Are you looking forward to Miley's antics? Or are you cringing in anticipation? Are you #TeamTaylor or #TeamNicki? OR, are you like me over here on #TeamWhyCantWeAllJustGetAlong? Sound off in the comments!

For you Australian lovelies, you can catch the MTV VMA's live on MTV from 10:00am, Monday 31st August. Don't fret if you miss the live telecast though, as MTV will be replaying the awards on a constant loop throughout the day.

EVERYBODY BE COOL :: In Defence of the Bachelorettes

It's a cold, miserable day here in Sydney and I'm using the dreary weather as an excuse to wrap myself up in a cocoon of blankets and catch up on my Bachelor recaps.

While waiting for my tea to steep, I browsed through some of the recent tabloid articles about our lovely Bachelorettes and was surprised to see so much negativity being directed towards some of the girls - both in news and social media. Suddenly I started to feel...not so great. So much so that I felt the need to come here, jump up on my horse and white-knight for these fair maidens for a sec. Although I'm sure they are more than capable of sticking up for themselves...I mean, did you see how Jacinda gave Sam the business after the Groundhog Date disaster? What a boss.

"You are correct, but I will allow you to proceed." All hail Queen Jacinda.

Let me start by saying that I love this show. I love watching it, recapping it, and from what I can tell, you guys don't mind reading about it either. I think this year's cast (because that's what it is: a carefully selected cast of characters) is great: a colourful mix of beautiful women, each with her own story to tell. With so much time devoted to Sam's story, it's a shame that we don't get to hear more about their lives, but that's the way it goes with TV, innit?

HOWEVER: I am very aware that what we are seeing every Wednesday and Thursday night is a carefully manufactured love story between Sam and *insert winner here.* It is the story that the producers want to tell, not necessarily an accurate representation of the weeks spent confined in Bach Manor.

And it seems to me that the inability of a portion of the audience - viewers and commentators alike - to recognise this difference, between actual reality and the "REALITY" we are being presented, is what is now resulting in such vitriol being directed towards some of the women. It only takes a cursory glance at social media to see that they are being torn to shreds over their depiction on the show and it's not OK.

For example, let's take a look at what is behind the "bitchy" "rivalries" "!!!" that are getting so much media coverage: During filming, these girls live together 24/7. They only leave the house when on dates and are allowed one supervised phone call home a fortnight. It's only natural for there to be conflict in this scenario. I certainly don't expect all of these women to be BEST FRIENDS 4EVAAA merely because they've been thrown into a virtual prison together. Some viewers might like to think they're all sitting around the manse, giggling and braiding each other's hair, but I'm more realistic.

But back to that story-telling element: Producers love conflict and drama. Drama equals dollars. However, some conflicts will play to the audience better than others. People don't want to see Heather or Snezana being nasty about other contestants, because they're being framed as the frontrunners. Nobody wants to see Sam end up with a raging bitch, after all! But if it's someone like Emily? Sure, pile it on! More bitchface reaction shots! More comments about other girls that are clearly edited because. they. are chopped. up. like this.! Have you noticed how often we hear Emily's comments, not actually see her say them? Mm.

Is she a RAGING MEGA BITCH, or just getting food out of her teeth? WE'LL NEVER KNOW. 

"But Jess, have you read your recaps? Surely you're a part of the problem?" Ah, good question my lovely, which brings me to why I felt compelled to write this rambling mess. When I recap the show, to me it feels as though I'm commenting on fictional characters, rather than real people. Because once again: we're not seeing what these girls are really like, we're seeing what the producers want us to see. As an example, how many of you knew that Krystal is a mum? Anyone? Because they sure as hell are going out of their way to remind us that Snezana is a mother, but Krystal's son wasn't mentioned once during her time on the show.

Anyway, in my mind there is a clear distinction between the real-life women, and the characters on my TV screen. Just because I refer to her as Shitstorm doesn't mean that I think Sandra is a horrible person, funnily enough she actually reminds me of one of my closest friends. And as for the aforementioned Bitchface Heard Across Australia? I happen to LOVE Emily's facial expressions, hence why I include so many frames of them: they are truly one of my favourite parts of the show. My husband cracks up whenever they cut away to an Emily reaction. More bitchface, I say! But every story needs a villain, and much like Laurina last season (who was my favourite, incidentally) unfortunately this season the producers have decided that the duty falls to Emily. Is it fair? No, of course not, and no one is being more vocal about this than Emily and her family, who must be having a difficult time watching. If it's any consolation to them though, I'm sure I'm not the only viewer who would love to see more of Emily outside of her being the "princess."

Ultimately what I'm trying to say is that I hope that my recaps have been read in the humourous tone in which they were intended, but I have to acknowledge that my words may come across as genuinely hurtful appraisals of the contestants and if this is the case, then I apologise unreservedly. 

Before I return to our regularly scheduled snarking, just a final reminder to be cool out there, interwebz. It might be fun to fire off a nasty tweet whilst enjoying tonight's episode, but remember that these women exist outside of the Bach Manor bubble.

The Bachelor Australia airs Wednesday and Thursday nights from 7:30pm on Channel Ten.