mamamedia recaps :: The Season Finale of Married At First Sight

It all ends tonight...well actually, it ended two weeks ago, but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

After six weeks of living together as husband & wife, tonight's the night that we find out whether our couples will live happily ever after, or go their separate ways. THE TENSION IS KILLING ME.

We begin at Zoe & Alex's, where they are bathing the world's squishiest dog. Seriously, don't you just want to moosh that little face?

LOOK AT THAT FACE.

Meanwhile, one couple who are enjoying less than smooth sailing (get it? coz they're in a boat? ZING!) are Clare & Lachlan. After last week's spat about PDA's, Lachlan confesses that "I've got feelings for Clare...I wouldn't say that I'm in love at this point. Every time I keep feeling like I'm falling deeper & deeper, something like what happened the other day at my mum's place crops up, and that makes me take a couple of steps back and thats something I've gotta think about." Hmm. Stormy seas ahead, perhaps?

Things aren't looking great over at Michelle & James' place either. After being away for work, James isn't answering Michelle's calls and she's stressing. RULE #571 GENTLEMEN: Always answer phone calls from the Mrs. Even if you don't want to pick up, at least send a text letting her know what's up. Actually, this rule goes for us too ladies, because God knows I've copped an earful from B in the past when I haven't taken his calls.

As they're nearing the end of the experiment, they decide to try & rekindle the magic by revisiting the site of their wedding, which is as good a reason as any to pay a visit to the Northern Beaches. No jokes here, it's just a beautiful part of the world.

See?

Back in Ferntree Gully, and Alex has bought Zoe a little going away present to remember him by...

The cutest damn reaction to Ugg boots that you ever did see.

And in what might be the sweetest moment of the series so far, Zoe says of Alex: "If this isn't love, then I'll have it, whatever it is!" AWWWW.

We've finally reached the final day of the experiment and it's time for Lachlan, James & Zoe to pack their bags. As Lachlan cleans out his drawers, the camera zooms in on a box of condoms, which I assume is supposed to be an exciting little moment for the audience, but considering he already spilled the beans about their wedding night consummation, it's not a groundbreaking development.

Back at Zoe & Alex's, Maddie the bulldog is so devastated by Zoe's goodbye that she barges through the back door for another cuddle. Well Alex, if you were looking for signs from the universe, I think Maddie just gave you a BIG one.

Decision day has arrived!! First up is Alex & Zoe, who - after the most awkward wedding of them all - have grown to become my favourite couple of the series. They are reunited in a chapel, alongside our panel of experts. As Alex explains his thinking behind his decision and the possible sacrifices to be made, Zoe makes an array of wonderfully concerned faces...

After she has declared that yes, she would like to continue their relationship, Alex leaves us all hanging with his response: "Zoe, I'm sorry....but you're going to have to put up with me a bit longer." YOU CRAFTY JACKRABBIT. Also, yay! They do seem very committed to each other already, saying that they've already discussed adopting a child. #TeamZolex 4EVAAA. I love them, guys.

Next up is James & Michelle. James seems to be 100% keen on continuing the relationship, but Michelle is keeping her cards close to her chest, saying that she "needs to see how he fits into her life." Obviously, we now know that they haven't lasted and that Michelle has since married her ex, but I'm still interested to see whether they decided to pursue it initially. As she approaches the chapel, Michelle states that she's "happy it ends today, and that I can move on with my life." Ooh...could be a misdirect, but still...it doesn't sound good.

As expected, James confirms he wants to continue...and surprise, surprise, so does Michelle!

The happy couple...for now, at least...

And finally, we have farmer Lachlan & firecracker Clare. Clare admits to the experts that she has "silently" told Lachlan that she loves him, but is hesitant to say it aloud since she's said it in the past and not had it reciprocated. SEE WHAT I WAS SAYING LAST WEEK? The girl has damage, and there's nothing wrong with that, she can only be who she is.

Unsurprisingly, Clare wishes to continue with Lachlan, and after a bit of a misdirect with a cheeky "but...", Lachlan confirms that he would like to stay together, and our delightful odd couple drive off into the sunset. Which then transitions into...

...a catch up with our couples, two months after filming wrapped. Did they get their happily ever after?

Clare & Lachlan :: After some leading statements that make it look as though things had taken a turn for the worse, Clare & Lachlan confirm that they are still together. Clare seems to have mellowed since the experiment ended and they are taking it slow and looking towards their future together. Aww.

James & Michelle :: No messing around here, since everyone knows how it's ended up - they are no longer together. Apparently, after their rough week towards the end of the experiment, the relationship never recovered and Michelle pulled out the old classic, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Poor James seems genuinely gutted by this, saying that he misses her still. Aww buddy. Your lady is out there somewhere.

Zoe & Alex :: I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH. They are still together and have added to their family: meet Winston the bulldog! Adorably, Zoe says "Alex has Maddie, I have Winnie and together we all have each other." AWWW. 

Of course, this was filmed last year, and there have been further developments since. Clare & Lachlan are no longer together and he will be starring on the upcoming season of Farmer Wants A Wife. Zoe & Alex are still going strong and are in the process of renovating their first home together, having recently sold his Ferntree Gully bachelor pad. Sadly, they also lost a baby earlier this year and I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say that our hearts go out to them for their devastating loss. Zoe has recently been speaking in public about their loss, in an effort to break down the stigma that surrounds pregnancy & infant loss. In short, she's a bloody champion and an incredibly strong woman.

So there we have it! Season one, done & dusted! What did you think? Was it everything you expected? I'm honestly surprised that they seemed to have created a lasting match as strong as Zoe & Alex. Seriously, follow them on Instagram. Killing me with cuteness.

Missed anything? Catch up on the first season here...
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5

mamamedia recaps :: Episode 5 of Married At First Sight

Will all four couples still be standing by the end of tonight's episode? LET'S WATCH.

With seven days left of the experiment, we open to Lachlan returning to his farm after last week's blow up with Clare. Whilst he still seems to be fuming about Clare's lack of compromise, she appears devastated, saying that Lachlan is the most important thing in her life. Aww. Considering she's only known him for three weeks, that's a pretty big statement.

Down in Melbourne, Alex is heading into the city to see how his other half lives (Zing!). Our fair tradie sums up the CBD thusly: "Big city life...like, architects and office people and accountants..." So...not a fan, I take it? Although he does say that, despite finding the city annoying, "Zoe's a city girl and I'm going to do all I can to be with her." AWW. I want these crazy kids to make it. When confronted with her apartment though, he hilariously assumes she's been robbed. "Where'd all your stuff go?" Ahh, city living. How I miss it. Zoe then takes Alex to visit the NGV...or, as he calls it, the National Gah-llery of Art. Adorably though, he seems to really get into it. I LOVE THEM GUYS. #TeamZolex

On the other side of the coin, we now visit our most troubling match: Roni & Mike. Things have gotten to the point where they are now receiving a home visit from Psych Sabina. Roni admits that she was bothered by seeing how close the other couples were at the dinner party, and Mike believes that their problem is because they skipped the "fun" part of a relationship. I get what he's saying, but in my opinion, when it's right? It's always fun, no matter how long you've been together. Just a different kind of fun - less dates and flowers, more "in jokes" and intimacy. Case in point: B & I were in stitches last night taking turns licking the rind on a wheel of Brie. It's really weird guys, you should try it. It's like velvet, but not? Anyway. YOU WISH YOU WERE US.

Truly, a picture of wedded bliss

Back in Sydney and Clare is now making a mad dash for Cawdor to try & smooth things over with Lachlan. Good move girl! And it seems to pay off, as they stroll around hand in hand, and Lachlan admits it's given him a "tingle up his spine." You know she's really trying to impress though, as she leaps onto the flat tray to feed his cows. That's love.

Meanwhile, Roni & Michael are doing what all couples going through a rough patch should do: hit up a trivia night and plaster on happy faces for a roomful of people. Sounds like a fun night right? And just take a look at Mick's face - he's loving it!!

 BEST. NIGHT. EVAAAA.

Zoe has apparently taken the day off work to play housewife for Alex...although, why she needs a whole day to cook a pre-prepared roast chicken & vegetables...Anyway, whilst it seems to be a happy household when they sit down to dinner, it takes a turn verrrry quickly when Zoe cracks a joke about being a housewife and Alex snaps. He storms out the door, leaving Zoe as shocked & confused as the rest of us...

"What just happened??"

After taking an undisclosed amount of time out, Alex returns, explaining how he was offended by the idea of her thinking that he was just in this to find someone to clean up after him. She apologizes for her joke, but also explains that she is "deeply bothered" by people walking out. Psych Sabina then jumps in to explain how adoptees can carry abandonment issues into relationships and oh shit, I had completely forgotten that she was adopted. Yeah, mayyybe put a lid on the impromptu time-outs, dude.

Across town, Roni & Mick have sat down to play a game of "relationship cards" which is not as sexy as you might think. No Never Have I Ever here, guys. You know what, they should play this in the car. It's so much easier to have difficult conversations in the car, because you're not forced to keep eye contact. It's actually recommended as a way for parents to get through to their teenagers. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. The cards seem to be working well, until they get to this awesome Q: "What are you afraid to tell your partner?" Mick then decides to spill the beans, telling Roni that he doesn't see them being together forever, and that he's not in love with her. Good on him for finally being honest with her, but...Ouch. Poor Ron.

Dr Trisha is the recipient of this week's No Shit Sherlock Award for this clanger: "When our partner says to us 'I don't love you', we feel rejected." OH REALLY? See, this is why you're the doctor.

And with that, it's over: Roni quickly packs up her mountain of belongings and leaves her ring behind. Mick actually seems a bit crushed by this, I really feel for him. As she drives away from their marital abode, she seems hopeful for the future, saying that she still believes in the fairytale. Good luck to the two of them, I hope they find their special someones.

The remaining three couples are now nearing the end of their time together, so Alex has decided to pull out all the stops for Zoe, setting up a romantic picnic in front of a roaring fire. He confesses that she's changing him for the better, and that he wants to be a better person because of her. Zoe then decides to go all in, and tells him that she's falling in love with him. JUST LOOK HOW CUTE:

#TeamZolex

The next segment has been billed as "meeting the in-laws" but...didn't they all meet at the weddings? Anyway. First up, James & Michelle are headed to Canberra to see James' parents and, well, it's not a very happy couple we're seeing, as they're running late. Ugh, I feel you Mish - my husband snaps at me too for making us late. It is interesting though how little of them we've seen since the news broke that Michelle has remarried. It's as though the show has been re-cut in the hope that we'll just sort of forget about them.

Zoe & Alex are spending the day with Alex's parents in the beautiful Dandenong Ranges, taking a ride on what appears to be the funnest train EVER. Not too much to report on here, as she seems to hit it off with her new in-laws, cooking sausages with Dad and impressing Mum with her sense of humour & fondness for Alex. Go Zo!

Clare & Lachlan are visiting his mother, who seems to be very happy with this little union, saying that she hasn't seen him this happy in a long time. And then she started to cry. Nice one Clare, you made her cry! Seriously though, get the MIL on side and you're sweet.

Unfortunately though, as seems to happen every episode with these two, it soon turns sour. Back at the house, Clare becomes upset when she thinks that Lachlan isn't showing her enough affection. Lachlan's reasoning is that he doesn't like being affectionate in front of his mother. My husband is the same, and in both cases it comes purely from a place of respect for the parent - not lack of love or attraction. Clare then says something very telling: "It's hard to dissociate from your past. A lot of my past, I was invisible to people. I wasn't loved."

And here is where I make a passionate defence of poor Clare: I'm sure she's absolutely copping it on social media for coming across as a bit of a psycho, but the way I see it? She's just a woman desperately hoping for true love, who has been mistreated in the past. The way she seems to react so emotionally to Lachlan rejecting her affection tells me that she's been criticized for it, or it's been rejected, in the past. As much as we think we move on from our exes, there are some things that we can't help but carry forwards into future partnerships, and I think this is what's happening for Clare. I truly feel for her and I hope she's being supported right now, because it can't be easy for her to see the public response.

I just want to give her a cuddle!

Back in Canberra, James is getting his pout on once again after learning that his family farm is being sold. I take umbrage with a comment of his though: he tells Michelle that he's had his three month dose of family, because it takes him three months to get over a visit. That would be my cue to divorce him, quite frankly. My family is such a big part of my life, I can hardly go three weeks between visits, let alone months. Anyway, I guess we're all different. And it is a beautiful property, so I can see why he'd be upset...

We end on a not-so-happy note with Clare & Lachlan, seemingly still at odds. And it doesn't look great for them, with Lachlan apparently telling Clare that if she has one more "dummy spit", they're done. Eep. I have concerns for these two.

NEXT WEEK: The experiment comes to an end and our couples will have to decide, in the iconic words of The Clash, should I stay or should I go? EXCITEMENT.
 
Married At First Sight airs 8:50pm AEST Monday night on Channel Nine. Catch up on past recaps here:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4

mamamedia recaps :: Episode 4 of Married At First Sight

The big dinner blow up has arrived! Let's watch!

Our married couples are now settling into domestic bliss, as seen at Zoe & Alex's, where they are discussing household duties. Alex explains his underwear theory: the more you buy, the less you need to do laundry. GENIUS. I actually love doing laundry, it's my favourite chore...which is a good thing when you have a baby, because it never. ever. ends. Anyway, Zoe agrees to take the first load, although she acknowledges that Alex's turn will most probably never come, because that's just how men work.

"So...this is marriage, eh?"

Over to Roni & Mick's now, where the awkward tension is palpable. I have concerns about these two. Things aren't looking good. Roni expresses her fear that she likes Michael more than he likes her and whilst I don't know whether or not that's true, he definitely seems to have reservations.

After last weeks confrontation, Zoe is making an effort to learn about Alex's life and has showed up to his work site...in heels. But hey! She's trying! After taking a stroll around the site, Zoe remarks that seeing Alex operating machinery is "sexy." Later on at dinner, they discuss how often they think couples should have sex. Zoe believes a healthy amount is 4-5 times a week, taking Alex by surprise. His response? "I didn't know I was married to a hornbag!" Zoe retorts "I didn't realise I was married to an old man!" Touche. I really like these two together, they seem to have turned a corner this week.

Michael has left Roni at home for the night while he goes out with the boys. His main concern seems to be that there's no distance between him & Roni for the heart to grow fonder. He adds that whilst he's committing to the process, he doesn't know if there's a spark between them. Uh oh. Can I just say though - Roni, if you & Mick don't work out, you can come to my place and we'll iron & drink wine together.

My idea of a fun night, right here.

Now that the experiment has hit the halfway point, it's time for the four couples to meet at a dinner party. I'm sorry, but all I can think of when I hear the phrase "dinner party" is Cheryl from Archer...I hope there's some Archer fans here...

"Ooooohhh, elegant dinner partyyyyy!"

The couples seem like they're looking forward to meeting each other and getting the chance to compare their relationships, although a very snuggly Alex & Zoe admit that they're hoping to stir the pot...a prescient little bit of story telling, perhaps?

"We're going to make them cry." Oh Alex, you have no idea...

Roni & Michael are picking up the booze for the party. After selecting a case of beer, 3 bottles of red and 3 bottles of white, she questions whether she has enough. For a dinner for eight. I'm liking this woman more and more. I want to go to her dinner parties. GET IN THE GAME MIKE SHE'S A KEEPER.

We learn that psychologists John & Sabina are playing peeping Toms at this party, in order to analyse the connections forming between our husbands & wives. John notes that he will be looking for three key things:
1. How they communicate to each other and about each other to the group;
2. Any physical affection; and
3. How they side with each other, particularly if there are any disagreeements between the couples. Again, prescient.

Creepers.

"I hope Clare and I have the deepest connection, the deepest love." FIRST L BOMB OF THE SEASON GOES TO LACHLAN.

All four couples have now arrived at the ELEGANT DINNER PARTYYY (seriously, please Youtube that Archer reference so you know what I'm talking about) and are getting to know each other. Just as John says that he would be concerned if a partner were to make sarcastic or teasing remarks about their spouse to the group - SUCH a coincidence - Mick starts making cracks about Roni's cooking and her being a "lady of leisure". Mmm. Not a super strong move dude.

As Clare & Lachlan prepare dinner together, the other three couples swap stories from their wedding days. Alex tells of his first kiss dilemma: "Do I go French, or major French?" This show asks the important questions of our time.

And speaking of major French...

Back in the dining room and Roni has been left alone with the snugglers, Alex & Zoe. After they regale her with tales of their koala cuddles (which, don't get me wrong - adorable), they ask her how she's going with Michael and basically destroy any sense of security she had in her relationship. You can practically see it in her eyes: WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME LIKE THAT.

Dinner is now served and the polite conversation continues. But as is so often the case, the most innocuous seeming comment can completely blow shit up. Whilst talking about their wedding day nerves, Zoe remarks that she thinks that nerves are a good sign, as it means that you're invested. Well, didn't that get under Roni's skin. Here she is attempting not to rip Zoe's hair out...

"Bitch, what?"

Conversation then turns to annoying habits, and when Zoe expresses disbelief that James & Michelle can't find anything annoying about each other, it seems to be one generalisation too far for poor Roni and she snaps.

Meanwhile, James and Michelle are wishing they were ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. 

Unfortunately, no one seems to side with her...not even Michael, who tells her repeatedly that she's mistaken and to just relax. Methinks someone needs to give Mike a copy of the Husband Handbook. ALWAYS SIDE WITH THE MRS. Roni retreats to the powder room for a quick cry and confessional (A highlight: "I'm really proud...of me.")

The men and women now separate for more "intimate" conversations. After Mick distances himself from Roni's outburst, the topic turns to matters of the bedroom. OOOOH! Alex announces that they had sex on the second night and Zoe admits to the girls that "it's good...yeah...it's really good." Michelle says that she's not the type to kiss & tell, but that "what we have is amazing and I didn't prepare myself for how good things were going to be." As Psych Sabina notes, "for someone that doesn't kiss and tell, she's told."

"Hahaha, SEX"

Clare dances around the topic, saying coyly "let's just say that the bed is not cold on a winter's night." Lachlan isn't as backwards in going forwards, it seems, when he remarks "I can't believe you didn't consummate the marriage on the first night." Roni & Michael, as expected, are less forthcoming. Mick refuses to discuss the subject, out of respect for Roni and "her situation" which, I assume, is in reference to her ex-husband. Roni admits that she's struggling that they are taking so much time to "build their intimacy."
 

Back in the hotel room afterwards, Roni & Mick debrief (not in the underwear sense...) and she tells him she was disappointed that he didn't stick up for her in front of the group. Michael maintains that she shouldn't have blown up. Roni's response? "It doesn't matter, I'm your wife!" You can't argue with that Mick!

Such a loving look of total exasperation slash too much vino.

Our couples are now back to the realities of married life. Clare & Lachlan are still having issues with their living arrangements, namely that Lachlan is having to run a cattle farm remotely from Clovelly, because when it comes to visiting the farm, Clare is like "yeahhh, nope." My thinking is that Clare has been single for so long that she has filled her spare time with so many hobbies and activities, and now she doesn't know how to dial it back. And don't get me wrong, it is absolutely fine to have hobbies separate from your spouse - healthy, in fact - but there needs to be compromise.

After simmering below the surface, it all explodes after Lachlan misses his nephew's birthday in order to help paint at Clare's theatre. Here is my issue: Apparently, Lachlan's farm is in Cawdor. For those of you outside of NSW, Cawdor is just past Campbelltown, in Sydney's south-west. It's about an hour's drive away. So, if that is in fact where the farm is located, then technically, Clare could be commuting. It would be a longer trip than from the Eastern Suburbs, no doubt...but it's totally doable.

"Woah, woah, woah...you want me to catch a train?"

Unfortunately, the argument doesn't end well, with Lachlan struggling to keep Clare's temper in check, and Clare struggling to keep sight of what they're really fighting about. Lachlan is merely pointing out that you have spent only one day at the farm. That is not judgement, but simply a black and white fact, darling. He is not implying, as you hollered at him, that you "aren't committed to [him] at all."

Our beleaguered farmer drives off into the night, explaining that they need to "take a breather." Go and breathe in some of that crisp Cawdor air buddy. Godspeed.

NEXT TIME: It looks like it all becomes too much for one of our couples, with all signs pointing to Splitsville. My bet is Roni & Michael, although the editors would definitely like you to think it's Clare & Lachy. We shall see!

Married At First Sight airs 8:40 Monday night on Channel Nine. Catch up on past recaps here:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3

mamamedia recaps :: Episode 3 of Married At First Sight

Let the co-habitation commence!

We begin on Day 6 of the social experiment: time for the big move! The fun is truly about to begin...

Before Zoe arrives, Alex recruits his mother to help prepare his home for his new wife. Mum's tips include "maybe move your AV rig out of the dining room" and "don't keep your beers in the linen closet." Solid advice Ma.



As Lachlan leaves the farm with dog in tow, Clare is busy cleaning her one bedroom apartment. A one bedder hey? That could cause a few issues. Everyone needs their own corner to retreat to now & then, especially if you don't know each other particularly well. I will never understand how couples can live in a studio apartment and not kill each other. I love my husband but God knows we need our own space sometimes.

James is moving into Michelle's apartment and she's setting the ground rules early...

Pretty simple, dude. 

Roni appears to be packing her entire house - Tupperware and all - to move to Michael's. She's definitely settling in quickly, hanging photos, arranging throw pillows and scuffing around in her sparkly slippers. (SIDENOTE: I have those slippers in pink. They were a present from my mother-in-law when I was in hospital with Liv and they are SO COMFORTABLE.)

Zoe arrives to her new abode to find Alex's mancave, complete with motorbike. Just what every wife wants! Alarm bells are ringing early though, when Alex declares "I'm not too comfortable with Zoe coming in here and making too much of a mark on this house. I don't particularly want girly things all over the house. It's not going to happen." It's called compromise buddy. Get on board!

Zoe is THRILLED. Obviously.

Quote of the night goes to Zoe, who, after being presented with her heat 'n' eat dinner, said this: "I don't have an aversion to quick anything...*makes the following face*...well, there are a few things I have an aversion to being too quick..."

I think my recaps could consist solely of Zoe's many facial expressions... 

Here we go! The first big blow up. It seems that Clare's schedule isn't entirely clear to spend the weekend away at Lachlan's farm and he's not impressed. BUT - she's not particularly happy about it either! And I quote: "You know what I really want to do? I really want to fuck everything off, I don't want to go to work, I want to spend time with you! I don't know what else to do, but I can guarantee you I feel bad about it." Aww. How can he be mad at that?

Well, as it turns out, it all blows over pretty quickly, as our newlyweds kiss and make up in front of a beautiful Clovelly sunrise. As Kevin Spacey famously said, "it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world." ...Of course, he had just been shot in the head, so...not exactly the same scenario...anyway, moving on!

It's her first morning waking up in Ferntree Gully and Zoe is learning the cold hard truth about commuting. Mainly, it sucks. In our pre-baby days, we lived and worked in the heart of Sydney's CBD and my office was a 15 minute walk away. You become very spoilt, very quickly. I can only imagine how she's feeling about having to now sit on a train for an hour. Blergh.

Our couples are now being faced with their hardest test so far: a shopping trip to IKEA. B HATES it when I drag him along to that glorious Swedish storage emporium. He drags his feet and whines like a 5 year old. PRO TIP: Much like children, you can bribe men with Swedish meatballs & $1 hotdogs. Michael definitely seems like he's done for the day...

"I wonder if Roni will notice if I sneak off to the cafeteria..."

According to psychologist Sabina, building furniture together is like any other team activity: it brings out the dynamics that will be seen moving forward in the relationship. Well, I don't know what this says about my marriage, but furniture building isn't much of a team activity in our household: I am the Queen of flat-pack assembly, B just carries in the boxes and lets me at it. And as someone who grew up having to assemble his mother's IKEA purchases, that's just the way he likes it. Everybody wins!

James seems to be committing a cardinal sin: ignoring the instructions. Unsurprisingly, he then drills holes in the wrong spot. Rookie. Never ignore the instructions dude. He's just lucky Michelle is the kind of gal who seems unfazed by these sorts of shenanigans...I am not one of those gals.

Over at Michael's, he and Roni are enjoying a quiet, no-TV-allowed dinner on the couch. Possibly their most awkward interaction to date - these two definitely seem more fizzle than sizzle right now.

CAN YOU FEEL THE HEAT.

Uh-oh, Clare & Lachlan are at it again. Once again, Clare is only willing to visit the farm for one night, rather than the whole weekend, and Lachlan's patience is wearing thin. Her offer to take him to boxing on Saturday does not go over well and before we know it, tempers flare, voices are raised and Clare storms out.

The following morning, Lachlan is regretting his part in the fight and is sending flowers to Clare's office as a mea culpa. He seems to be thinking the same as all of us at home who watched the Great Flower Meltdown on their wedding day, namely: Holy shit I better pick the right flowers or else I am DEAD.

Meanwhile, in Melbourne, Zoe is catching up with best friend Sherri. Sherri epitomises that most essential of friendships: the Get A Grip friend. We all have one: the person who slaps us upside the head and tells it like it is. In short, I love Sherri and think she should be in every episode. Just sitting in the corner, tearing apart everybody's bullshit. Anyway, Zoe voices her concerns regarding the "lifestyle change" she would be making by moving to Alex's house in the 'burbs, and also in regards to their differing backgrounds. She begins to explain how he left school in tenth grade and Sherri shuts that shit down QUICK SMART. When Zoe realises she might be sounding like a bitch, Sherri replies with a succint "You are." I LOVE THIS WOMAN.

#TeamSherri

Back in Clovelly and Clare is arriving home with apology flowers in tow. They seem to have worked a treat, as L & C are now getting their pash on in the kitchen. But, I mean, if this was delivered to your office, how could you not?

HOW COULD YOU STAY MAD AT HIM??

Zoe & Alex have arrived home and are cooking dinner together, when Alex asks if it's going to be a problem for them to blend their lives. Zoe responds with some gibberish about how it'll be a problem for her if he doesn't know Mandela's life story (...okay...) and that she assumes he'd feel the same if she didn't know stuff about engines, or whatever. Alex is, understandably, a bit miffed that she has simplified his life down to "engines and cars and stuff" and isn't making an effort to actually learn anything about him. When asked to explain what he is to her, Zoe replies "you have all the qualities that I want." To which Alex responds, "...you serious? That's it?" When she attempts to explain herself, he cuts her off with an exasperated "I don't think I want to hear it." As he confesses to camera afterwards, his opinion is that Zoe is committing to the experiment, rather than to him. Uh oh. And it was all going so well...

Alex doesn't know whether to laugh or cry, so he just made this face...

Clare has finally made it out to Lachlan's farm, albeit only for one night. But look how cute! Clare confides that "I feel like I'm part of something. I feel like I am somebody to someone, and I haven't felt like that in a long time." I REALLY WANT THESE TWO TO WORK, YOU GUYS.

After a talking to from her mum, Michelle has decided to sit down with James and find out how he's really feeling, since apparently all he's offering up in the way of adjectives is "good" and "nice". To quote Rachel Greene from Friends: "Nice? Mittens are nice!" James assures her that he is simply being cautious, as he likes her and doesn't want to mess things up. In his words, "I'm not here because I have to be. I'm here because I want to be." Can't complain there, Mish.

We now meet another Get A Grip pal, in the guise of Rachel, Roni's best friend. Roni is concerned that she isn't feeling any chemistry with Michael and that they are becoming more like housemates than partners. She also admits that she is holding back on acting like herself, because she's convinced that will result in this marriage failing just like her first did. Methinks someone needs to stop projecting her issues onto poor Mikey. Give him a chance Ron! Rachel agrees, telling Roni that "being you does not mean that you're going to get the same." Good advice Rach. Not as good as Sherri, but still.

#TeamSherri.

NEXT WEEK: The 4 couples all meet each other for the first time and it seems that personalities (read: Roni & Zoe) will clash. Should make for interesting viewing - meet back here next week!

Married At First Sight airs 8:40 Monday night on Channel Nine

mamamedia recaps :: Episode 2 of Married At First Sight

Welcome to Ep. 2 of I Married A Stranger, Get Me Out Of Here!

We open to the morning after the night before. Clare & Lachlan look very cheery for virtual strangers that just spent the night together. Clare offers that she can't really remember what happened, but that they had some champagne and conversation. Lachlan thens adds that they "slept together" and Clare makes this face, before nudging him and crying "Shh! Don't tell them that!" I hope these crazy kids make it work.

The face you make when your husband rats you out on national TV...

Roni & Michael also look happy, albeit exhausted. Mike confirms that they didn't have a "traditional wedding night" and went their separate ways last night, sleeping in their own rooms. Oh well, that's fair enough. Plenty of time for consummation!

Time to meet couple #1 - Zoe & Alex.

Zoe is 25 and a digital marketing manager. She was adopted along with her twin brother from an orphanage in Ethiopia when they were 5 years old. She seems to be a very strong, independant woman, evidenced by her statement that "women were put on the Earth to rule, men are just for...you know." Go girl. I love the timid question from the psychologist following that declaration: "So...do you tell men that?"

Alex is 29 and owns his own plumbing company. He's single "not by choice" and seems like a typical bachelor...one whose mummy still does his laundry. Oh, Alex.

Time for Couple #2 - Michelle & James.

Michelle is 34 and a communications manager. She tends to end up with younger men, who aren't prepared to settle down and have children with her. Her parents have gone so far as to enforce a minimum age for her to date. DAMNIT MICHELLE MUM WANTS GRANDKIDS.

James is 36 and a signwriter, who moved to Sydney from Canberra to meet The One. So far, he's had no luck finding her. Naww. I like him already.

Now that the matches have been made, it's time to break the news to their loved ones. Alex mentions that his father has just had heart surgery, so...this could end badly. His family are, understandably, thrown for a bit of a loop, but they make it through with nobody going into cardiac arrest, so a successful conversation I'd say.

It's now the wedding day and Zoe is panicked. Hilariously, she says "I'm having to breathe in and out...which is not normal!" Oh, how I love anxiety attacks. Meanwhile, the Melbourne skies have opened and Alex is comforting himself with that old chestnut about rain on your wedding day being a good omen, as opposed to ironic (IT'S NOT EVERY IRONY ALANIS). I was married on a mid-30s summer day in Sydney and it rained for about 5 minutes...right when we walked outside for our photos. THANKS A LOT, WEATHER. God. So rude. Anyway, where were we?

Oh yeah, weddings! Zoe is now en route to her wedding with her twin brother in tow and she looks like a lamb being led to slaughter. Whilst trying to calm the nerves with some champagne, the driver hits the brakes and we are treated to this hilarous expression...seriously, an episode highlight for me:

In Sydney, James has walked up to the altar and Michelle's loved ones have applauded in approval. He greets her mother with a little wave and a "Hi mum!" Nice one buddy. Get the MIL onside and you'll be sweet.

Michelle is now walking in on her fathers arm and James looks like the cat that got the cream:

To steal a line from Lachlan's toast in last week's episode, Michelle is stunning and James is stunned. He's tripping over his vows and eventually needs to bring out his cheat sheet, which gives Michelle the opportunity to lean in close and help him find his spot. Adorable.

We return to the Melbourne ceremony, where Zoe is now entering. Such an independant woman is she, that she doesn't actually wait for her brother to escort her down the aisle and marches off on her own while he trails behind. She greets Alex with a "what's up?" at the altar and there is nervous laughter all round. But, in echoes of Clare & Lachlan's wedding last week, Zoe can't make eye contact with Alex. LOOK HOW AWKWARD:

Through their vows, Zoe fidgets and picks at her bouquet as her eyes dart wildly around the room. If I were Alex, I'd be bracing myself for her mad dash towards the nearest exit. "I thought she was really beautiful, right up until she threw herself through a stained glass window." Can you imagine? Anyway, Zoe pulls it together and says "I do." And Alex breathes a sigh of relief, along with the rest of Australia. At the end, Zoe admits that it was "a different experience to one I've ever had." You mean, having a fake wedding with a stranger on national television? I'll bet.

We return to Michelle & James having their photos taken on the beach, looking every bit the besotted newlyweds. They sneak in a first kiss before the photographer can snap it and take a stroll along the sand with their arms around each other. I've said it before, I'll say it again: Adorable.

Zoe & Alex, on the other hand? Not so smooth.

TOTALLY NATURAL GUYS.

Both couples have now arrived at their reception and Zoe & Alex are getting acquainted with each others families. Alex's response to meeting Zoe's twin? "Her brother is quite massive. I just gave him a tap on the arms and they were like bricks. I can imagine he's very protective of her." What he actually meant? "NOTE TO SELF: Behave, otherwise brother in law is going to FUCK MY SHIT UP."

Meanwhile, Michelle & James are sneaking out of their reception to pash away from prying cameramen's eyes. Sneaky! I love these two.

BUSTED.

Despite seemingly spending half of her reception hiding in corners with girlfriends, Zoe seems to warm up to Alex as the evening goes on. Enough to allow him under her skirt to retrieve the garter.

And just like that, we're waking up with the couples the next morning. And OOH-AAH, James & Michelle are naked. Well, she's wrapped in a towel and he's shirtless in bed. And possibly bottomless too, since it turns out to be his underwear we saw amongst the bedsheets in last week's preview. Michelle adds a cheeky "I haven't had much sleep." O RLY?

Alex & Zoe are also waking up in bed together and as Zoe sits up, her robe gapes open and it certainly appears as though she is naked underneath. No screenshot for this moment though: I'm not that creepy. Zoe shares that Alex awoke during the night and forgot who she was and I can only imagine the split second of terror that must have shot through him. Although, if you're going to wake up in an unfamiliar place? A Langham hotel isn't the worst place you could end up.

All 4 couples are now departing for their honeymoons. I would like to interject at this point: All of these women are way too dressed up for air travel. I don't care if I'd only just met the guy, he would need to know that when I fly, I do so in clothing that is as close to pyjamas as I can get away with. I'm the crazy bag lady in the chunky cardigan and sweats who lugs aboard $70 worth of magazines. (This is not an exaggeration by the way. My husband is appalled at the amount of money I can drop at an airport newsstand. I fear being trapped on a plane with nothing to read!) Ahem. Anyway. Sidetracked again.

Alex & Zoe have arrived in the Whitsundays (which I highly recommend if you're looking for a romantic getaway! Hamilton Island in particular is stunning) and are obviously getting more comfortable in each others company, as they get their pash on whilst flying over the Great Barrier Reef.

Meanwhile, Roni & Michael have gone across the ditch to Wanaka in New Zealand. Lucky ducks scored an international honeymoon! And - awkward turtle time - Roni has decided to rip off the bandaid and tell Mike about her previous marriage. Definitely romantic honeymoon conversation. She's right though - better to get it over and done with at the beginning. Michael seems a bit taken aback by the news, as well as understandably concerned that she's not yet over her ex-husband.

So I'm your rebound. AWESOME.

Up on the Gold Coast, Lachlan continues to win Clare over with his willingness to open up about his dad. There's lots of hand holding, it's all very cute and then they have lovely blurry kisses in front of a roaring fire.

At the end of the episode, we learn that 3 of the couples are sharing a bed on their honeymoon. There's lots of cute diary cam footage from Clare & Lachlan, Zoe & Alex and Michelle & James as they snuggle and joke around in bed. However, Roni has relegated poor Mike to an armchair as she takes the king size bed; her reason being that she doesn't want to jump straight in and have sex with him. Umm, you know what Roni, it IS possible to share a bed with someone and NOT have sex with them. GROUNDBREAKING, I KNOW. I'm really hoping that this is just for TV and that once the cameras left, she let him hop into bed. Because no one gets a good nights sleep in an armchair. I've done it before when my husband was in hospital and it is the worst. Plus, it's his honeymoon too! I don't understand why the production couldn't have arranged a double suite for them? SO MANY QUESTIONS. Poor Mike. #GetMikeABed

NEXT WEEK: The honeymoon is over, let the co-habitation begin! And it looks like sparks fly, with Roni in tears and Lachlan copping a "Fuck you" from Clare. See you next week!