SUBTITLED: Why You Shouldn't Want To Be With Anyone Who Thinks Like This Because You Deserve Way Better, Babe.
According to a survey by dating app Zoosk, a third of respondents have admitted to starting arguments with their spouses after watching the Bachelor slash Bachelorette on TV. Why? Because they aren't as romantic as ol' Sammy Boy and Frosty Fruit here...
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| Sam Wood & Snezana |
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| Sam Frost & Sasha |
OK babes, let's just cut to the chase: if your partner picks a fight - or even better, dumps you - because they think you aren't as romantic as someone on a TV show who has literally AN ENTIRE TEAM OF PEOPLE whose sole job it is to plan & produce amazing dates for them? Then they have a seriously warped idea of romance and you're probably better off. Good riddance to batshit insane rubbish.
This article is obviously ridiculous, but the underlying issue isn't as laughable: the idea that romance is directly linked to how much money is spent. Particularly when people are comparing their relationships to The Bachelor/ette franchises. The "romance" we're seeing on screen is really nothing more than cold-hard cash changing hands between corporations: We provide you with a service/location for your date, you broadcast it to 1m+ viewers at home,
name us as a production partner on your website and thank us in the credits. Everyone wins! Oh, except for the poor guys & girls at home being blasted because they're not romantic enough to have planned a helicopter flight to the Victorian ski fields, or a picnic on the pitch at the Sydney Cricket Ground. THANKS A LOT, SAM.
Sam Frost herself seemed to be mindful of this so-called "Bachelor Effect," raising her concerns with Sasha on one of their last single dates: "My biggest fear is that, when all of this is over, it is just me, and I don't have nice things ... I just don't want to be in that situation where you're with someone and they're disappointed with who you are at the end. When it is just you." Ten points to Sash, who replied: "All that material stuff for me doesn't matter. At the end of the day, if you don't have anyone there in your life to share it with, then it means nothing. If you've got each other, you don't need any of that stuff." Sam is a lucky lady.
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| Well, obviously. |
And I must say - y'know, just in case he reads this - I'm pretty lucky myself. B has never been one for buying presents for the sake of spending money, preferring gestures that actually have meaning or significance. If I'm having a rough week, he'll surprise me with a bottle of wine or box of cannoli from our favourite
pasticceria, which is
guaranteed to put a smile on my face. A couple of years ago, I spent Valentine's Day in bed with a raging migraine, and he arrived home from work with a box of my favourite ricotta pastizzi. It was the best Valentine's gift I'd ever received. And since we've had Liv, one of the sweetest things he does for me is to take the baby downstairs and give me a sleep in. Oh God, how I love him when he lets me sleep in.
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| How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... |
I once had a boyfriend who was all about making the "grand gesture" - delivering bouquets of flowers to my work, or leaving jewellery on the bed. Sounds great to some, I'm sure, but it actually made me a bit sad, because more often than not the gesture had nothing to do with who I was as a person, it was all about how much he had spent. I can actually recall him giving me a necklace, then telling me he bought it because it was the first thing he saw in the store. I believe the phrase "That'll do" may have even been used. SO ROMANTIC, amirite?
Honestly, the most thoughtful gift I would receive from him was when he would come home with peanut butter M&Ms, because he knew that they're my favourite and that it's hard for me to find them here in Australia. A simple gesture that cost him a couple of bucks ended up being more touching than the shoebox full of jewellery I had at the end of the relationship. Funny that.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is: Don't let yourself be fooled by TV romance. Love shouldn't be measured by dollars spent. Show the one you love how much you care by showing that you know them, that you have considered them, no matter how small the gesture might seem. Because sometimes the smallest is the sweetest.
You deserve more than a manufactured date for television. If someone tells you otherwise, then fuck that noise. You're worth more than that.
And remember: roses die, jewellery tarnishes, but ricotta-filled pastries are forever.
